This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"A lion with dreads holding a gun behind a stack of gold bars is stupid. So let's have two of them."


Hey, since Gucci Mane just lazily slaps dumb rhymes about bitches and cars on beats, let's lazily slap his head, tats, and chains on top of Mark Wahlberg's body in the movie poster for "Contraband" . Who cares if it makes Gucci Mane look like he's got crippling back problems?


"Okay, so your hip-hop name is Smoke, right? Well, Smoke is also the name of a professional-grade online editing and finishing system for broadcast by Autodesk. There's also a motion graphics and compositing software by Adobe called After Effects, and it would be really clever if you named your album 'After Effect.' No, trust me, it's cool."


Wow. Just wow.


If you're going to do a riff on the flag of California, why would you replace the bear with Oscar the Grouch? And why does he have shades on? Has he been smoking up, too? Too many questions, Game.


(I posted a comment here, then erased it, then posted another, then erased that one, realizing there's no comment that could make this album cover any more enjoyable)

EADJ Pun Police: Salem Witch Trial Edition

The Court of Oyer has come to order, and the Holy books of Scripture are stacked before me, so we may begin the questioning, Judge Danforth. As an expert in occult phenomena, it is my solemn duty to divine the exact nature of the strange occurrences here in Salem. I understand Reverend Pariss' daughter Betty has suffered a mysterious malady. Is that correct?


"Love At First Site?" Is that some sort of blasphemous mockery of the word "sight" in order to make unholy reference to the vacant commercial space? What black horror!


Foul punsmanship! Such flagrant unfunny wordplay is of the Devil, no matter the potter's intent!


"Flour To The People?!" And why would that pertain only to Goody Anne's pretzels, and not bread, or doughnuts, or biscuits?! Verily groan-worthy. Hail the magistrate! To the pillory with these foul incantations!


"Let's Taco 'Bout It." Okay, that one is pretty funny.


Snot 'tis not a word to be played with, witch! You blaspheme before this court and before the eyes of God! Burn this one at the stake! Confess thy sins, servant of the Beast!


(It is here that Chief Magistrate Thomas Newton fainted and the Courtroom was overcome by chaos.)

Oh, Terrin and Christine!

Spotted at the customer service counter in a Maryland supermarket: a sheet of paper.









Hey, you two- if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean! Crazy kids.

Just When You Thought We Were Through With "Jeremy's Family Reunion."

Here's that clip of the dance party without any music:



And here we've added some music so that it's not so ridiculous: