So You're Pregnant And Betrayed

The first thing you gotta do is ask yourself, how did I get pregnant and betrayed in the first place? What steps have I taken (or not taken) to leave me vulnerable to this pregnancy/betrayal? Is the man who impregnated me the same one who betrayed me? If I let that person impregnate me, did I not also give unspoken permission for him to betray me as well? These are the questions you should be asking.

Of course, if you kept your legs together/cards close to your vest, you wouldn't be finding yourself knocked up and backstabbed. If you had taken the necessary precautions to keep the wrong man from entering your vagina/circle of trust to avoid propagation/double-dealing, you wouldn't have a bun in the oven and be left holding the bag. 

But what's done is done. There is no reason to be stewing in your hormones/disillusionment and looking at what you could have done differently. All you can do now is pick up your uterus/chin and move forward.

But let this be a lesson to you- be more careful before you let a man conceive a child with you/sell you down the river. Don't let that man's sperm fertilize your egg/double-cross you. Here's a rule of thumb: don't let the guy who fucked you fuck you. Fuck you.

Any mother can be an idiot. And obviously any idiot can be a mother.

I Must Have This Album

In Target, I spotted a familiar face on the CD display.


Is that Robin Meade from CNN? The pretty, perky anchor and sometimes morning host who somehow wears too much makeup? With an album?


Why, yes it is.


And I guess someone told her she can sing, because there's a whole album of her country songs. Unfortunately, there were NO CDS AVAILABLE in the racks, so I had to just press the button to hear Robin's tunes. And what I heard sounded like a donkey/cat hybrid violating a truckload of mis-tuned violins.



I MUST OWN THIS ALBUM. This is unfortunately a Target Exclusive, so I have to go back to check if they restocked it next week.

Soon, my dear Robin, soon. Your donkey/cat hybrid voice will be mine to crank from my Prius.

Side note: Is it just me, or does that song sound like The Eagles' "Life In The Fast Lane?"

Side side note: Duh. That's a Don Henley cover song. No wonder. I never made that connection that the two songs were similar.

How Nice.

A girl brings enough pizza for the entire flight.