I have so much to write about. My christmas party. My recent entry into the terrifying world of Myspace and Facebook. My gap year. Me getting into Oxford (Admittedly, I have written about this already but I think that it bears repeating - I am simply Better than 99.9% of the blogging community. That's right, you. YOU. Scum). The fact that I have so far written 1607 words of my English coursework about the syntactical, lexical and phonological implications of the ramblings of Karl "K-Man" Pilkington. My ingress into the working world - I am now a waiter so could change this blog into one of those "True Confessions of a Waiter" things. Like yesterday, yeah, I picked up the plates and was like 'This is fine' but I realised that they were scalding hot halfway walking down the aisle of the restaurant and I was like wtf omg this hurts so I basically ran to the table and threw the hot plates of chicken and gravy at the two gents and what thanks did I get?? ONE POUND IN TIPS nuts to that. So yeah, stick around for more quality anecdotal gems like that. I suppose I could blog about this Christmas - especially the fact that I think this Xmas has been especially important as I have literally not been bothered by Jesus or God at all. Christmas TV. Commercialism. Some more stuff about the kerazy stuff those muslims get up to. The lack of homework I have done compared conversely to the amount of homework that I have to do.
Basically you see that there is a PLETHORA of things for me to write about today. But no. I have decided that all of these pebbles are just tiny jigsaw pieces in the great tapestry of life, and in order to weld together those innumberable shards of life's great mosaiic, it is necessary to pick up all the fragments and try to glue them together to form some sort of meaningful whole - checkmate!. Mixed metaphors aside, I have been wracking my brains for a way to sum up 2006 in a nutshell. After all, so much happened this year... from the news to my girlfriend suddenly appearing from the primal swamp again to Saddam Hussein misinterpreting the rules to Hangman to me throwing TWO AWESOME PARTIES to everything that's happened... it seems that summing up 2006 in a nutshell will be difficult. But nevertheless I have tried to to sum up 2006 in a nutshell. Below is my attempt to to sum up 2006 in a nutshell.
To sum up 2006 in a nutshell.
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHA!! YOU SEE IT'S LIKE SUMMED UP INSIDE A LITERAL NUTSHELL. I CAREFULLY TOOK THE TWO METAPHORICAL TERMS AND RETRANSLATED THEM LITERALLY TO FORM AN ALMOST RIDICULOUSLY SURREAL CONTRAST! OH VERY GOOD SIR!
That's good. Happy New Year to people I like, AIDS and rusty needles to those I don't.
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