Sup dudes. So, the epic quest for the ultimate drummer has commenced in the form of some underwhelming (fingers crossed) craigslist responses. Luckily, Sioux Falls is employing their patented multi-tiered approach to finding an amazazing (yep) skin-smasher (wha?). This, of course, consists of the aforementioned World Wide Web based strategery, as well as postering (not a misspelling of posturing but, instead, the act of attaching flyers to physical objects with the help of some kind of adhesive material or penetrative device [tacks, nails]), real-life social networking (human interaction), and arguably most importantly- attending rock'n'roll shows (WhOa!) and open mic nights. In an ideal world (one in which I'm given access to yet to be discovered advancer-than-advanced gene splicing technology {and therefore some kind of time manipulation device}), this is what our soulmate eHarmony drummer would resemble:
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Obviously, this hypothetical hip-shaking abomination is, presently, entirely theoretical as there is, currently, no uterine vessel capable of sustaining 9 months of this kind of tastily syncopated placental beating.
You can't always get what you want but that's stupid and we WILL. I swear we will settle for no less than Jeremiah Green or I'll eat my shoe like Werner Herzog. Also, Fred will be moving out west in a few days in order to join our noble quest (replete with all sorts of dungeon crawling and turn based spell casting). Sadly, Fred's fragile finger has suffered a bone crack and will be out of commission for the next four weeks. "OH NO!!!" you say? "WHAT WILL WE EVER DO WITHOUT FRED'S FINGERS WHICH "SCULPT MUSCULAR PILLARS OF GROOVE THAT YOU MUST FEEL TO BELIEVE (?)"-https://www.facebook.com/cureforthecommonband?sk=info paragraph 1, line 11.
It's true; it would be a tough four weeks if not for Fred's other semi-functional fingers which, while not quite as adept at MUSCULAR GROOVE SCULPTING, still do the job just fine. Anyway, we're watching some animal hoarding show in a Days Inn pet friendly hotel in the white-supremacist haven that is Coeur d'Alene (seriously though, I'm sure most people in this town are pretty cool and not militantly-anti-semitic/racist David Duke fanboys). We'll be back in Oregon tomorrow.
See ya lataz,
BUT WAIT, there's more:
bye bye
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