Riding down the escalator, I noticed this unremarkable mural of Times Square on the wall.
Pretty unremarkable, until you notice the movie playing on the Embassy marquee:
STUNT CAT?! HOLY SHIT WE GOTTA MAKE THIS HAPPEN, HOLLYWOOD.
Showing posts with label the movie 300 with those hot sweet shirtless men. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the movie 300 with those hot sweet shirtless men. Show all posts
Monday, July 2, 2012
Friday, September 23, 2011
Hollywood Is Getting Desperate.
Anyone who's seen the trailer for the upcoming "Battleship" movie can tell that Hollywood is seriously running out of ideas when they're greenlighting entire films based on board games. After mining every old TV series, comic book, toy, cereal, video game, and theme park ride for movie ideas, it comes as no surprise that movie studios have now turned to the next hot property for movie rights: the coffee flavors in my office's break room.
Here's a sampling of what's coming to theatres:
"Jet Fuel"
Climb aboard this comedic 3D romp as three dumb astronauts (Jim Carrey, Kevin James and Rob Schneider) blast off to become Saturn's first inhabitants. Also starring Michael Clarke Duncan as NASA's embarrassed administrator and Antonio Banderas and Michelle Rodriguez as the "Coffee People." Rated PG-13 for lewd humor, sexual situations and poop and fart jokes.
"Dark Magic"
Scott Caan, Christian Slater, Kevin Dillon, Taylor Lautner and Colin Farrell play a tough young street gang who meet a wise old magician (Anthony Hopkins) and learn the ways of black magic to beat all of their rival gangs. It's "The Lost Boys" meets "The Outsiders" meets "West Side Story" in this deep, dark, spellbinding adventure. Also starring Minka Kelly because she's pretty. Rated PG-13 for violence that's not gory but something you wouldn't want your kids to try on each other.
"Kenyan AA"
Djimon Hounsou portrays a troubled cab driver in Nairobi who tries to overcome his alcoholism, thanks to the big heart of a visiting businessman (Stellan Skarsgård) in this inspirational story of triumph and the human spirit "with a sparkling finish." Special appearance by President Barack Obama. Rated PG for language and some drug and cigarette use.
"Sumatran Reserve"
Martha (Patricia Clarkson), a biochemist, travels to the deep jungles of Southeast Asia to find a cure for lupus. Her scrappy, uncultured tour guide Jambi (Danny Pudi) proves to both try her patience and stimulate her loins... Rated R for ribald comedy and sexual situations involving a yak.
"Kenya Kilimandjaro," a.k.a. "Can Ya Kill A Man, Jaro?"
Jaro Muthermunn (Jason Statham), one of the world's deadliest big game hunters, returns from self-imposed exile after his mentor, Corsé (Sylvester Stallone) is captured at the base of Mount Kilimandjaro. Jaro reassembles his former team of skilled huntsmen to launch a rescue mission, and also to destroy the nearby drug farm, run by the evil Dark Roast (Terry Crews). Rated R for graphic violence and Jason Statham.
Here's a sampling of what's coming to theatres:
"Jet Fuel"
Climb aboard this comedic 3D romp as three dumb astronauts (Jim Carrey, Kevin James and Rob Schneider) blast off to become Saturn's first inhabitants. Also starring Michael Clarke Duncan as NASA's embarrassed administrator and Antonio Banderas and Michelle Rodriguez as the "Coffee People." Rated PG-13 for lewd humor, sexual situations and poop and fart jokes.
"Dark Magic"
Scott Caan, Christian Slater, Kevin Dillon, Taylor Lautner and Colin Farrell play a tough young street gang who meet a wise old magician (Anthony Hopkins) and learn the ways of black magic to beat all of their rival gangs. It's "The Lost Boys" meets "The Outsiders" meets "West Side Story" in this deep, dark, spellbinding adventure. Also starring Minka Kelly because she's pretty. Rated PG-13 for violence that's not gory but something you wouldn't want your kids to try on each other.
"Kenyan AA"
Djimon Hounsou portrays a troubled cab driver in Nairobi who tries to overcome his alcoholism, thanks to the big heart of a visiting businessman (Stellan Skarsgård) in this inspirational story of triumph and the human spirit "with a sparkling finish." Special appearance by President Barack Obama. Rated PG for language and some drug and cigarette use.
"Sumatran Reserve"
Martha (Patricia Clarkson), a biochemist, travels to the deep jungles of Southeast Asia to find a cure for lupus. Her scrappy, uncultured tour guide Jambi (Danny Pudi) proves to both try her patience and stimulate her loins... Rated R for ribald comedy and sexual situations involving a yak.
"Kenya Kilimandjaro," a.k.a. "Can Ya Kill A Man, Jaro?"
Jaro Muthermunn (Jason Statham), one of the world's deadliest big game hunters, returns from self-imposed exile after his mentor, Corsé (Sylvester Stallone) is captured at the base of Mount Kilimandjaro. Jaro reassembles his former team of skilled huntsmen to launch a rescue mission, and also to destroy the nearby drug farm, run by the evil Dark Roast (Terry Crews). Rated R for graphic violence and Jason Statham.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Spotted On 2nd Avenue
A banner for an upcoming hospital that I swear was for an upcoming shitty romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl (or Kate Hudson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Owen Wilson).
Coming Soon: Urgent Care, the story of a pretty but harried nurse who's too busy taking care of others... when she should be caring for her heart.
(cue Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill")
Meet Allison. (shot of Katherine Heigl (or Anne Hathaway) carrying a stack of bed pans)
She's in charge at St. Bartholomew, until she meets the new resident, Doctor Halbert (shot of Ryan Reynolds (or Gerard Butler) walking slo-mo down the hall with a clipboard.)
(cut to her running into him, dropping all the bedpans. Katherine Heigl (or Rachel McAdams) gets all huffy while Ryan Reynolds (or Channing Tatum) smiles dumbly)
Things in the ER just got a little more intense. (cut to montage of hectic and sometimes wacky events happening in the hospital which culminates with Katherine Heigl (or Scarlett Johansson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Hugh Jackman) inevitably falling in love)
(cue "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)
Urgent Care. Rated PG-13. In theatres Jan 4 and on DVD the next week.
-------
I guess I've been conditioned to associate big red type for shitty comedies over the years.
Amazing how Eddie Murphy is in most of them.
Coming Soon: Urgent Care, the story of a pretty but harried nurse who's too busy taking care of others... when she should be caring for her heart.
(cue Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill")
Meet Allison. (shot of Katherine Heigl (or Anne Hathaway) carrying a stack of bed pans)
She's in charge at St. Bartholomew, until she meets the new resident, Doctor Halbert (shot of Ryan Reynolds (or Gerard Butler) walking slo-mo down the hall with a clipboard.)
(cut to her running into him, dropping all the bedpans. Katherine Heigl (or Rachel McAdams) gets all huffy while Ryan Reynolds (or Channing Tatum) smiles dumbly)
Things in the ER just got a little more intense. (cut to montage of hectic and sometimes wacky events happening in the hospital which culminates with Katherine Heigl (or Scarlett Johansson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Hugh Jackman) inevitably falling in love)
(cue "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)
Urgent Care. Rated PG-13. In theatres Jan 4 and on DVD the next week.
-------
I guess I've been conditioned to associate big red type for shitty comedies over the years.
Amazing how Eddie Murphy is in most of them.
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