Man, I hate the Sims

I totally hate this game.

No, seriously.

I just played it for an hour, and spent most of the time screaming expetives at the screen. Most of them went like this:



"GO TO SLEEP, YOU BASTARD!"

"NO, DON'T WET YOURSELF!"

"POOF OFF, YOU POOFING CLOWN!"

(The word 'Poof' has replaced another expletive)



And this wasn't a good sort of screaming, like Mario Kart Multiplayer screaming. This was fury screaming.



Let's go through the average day of my nice little Sim, Eggy Cat. Don't ask about his name.



1: Eggy gets up at about 5 in the morning, exhausted and smelling of faeces. He takes half an hour getting up.

2: Eggy slowly walks towards the fridge. This takes about an hour.

3: Just as soon as he makes the food, his Car to work arrives and beeps on the horn. He very slowly leaves his meal and goes to the car. At this point Eggy is hungry, uncomfortable, tired, has no social life, and is about 3 seconds away from pissing himself.

4: Speed forward a long time. In this time, the house gets invaded by rats. Or bugs. I don't know what they are, but I hate them.

5: Eggy arrives home, and promply wets himself. I desperately try to get him to eat someting, but he's too depressed. I try to cheer him up, but he gets sad because he has no social life. I try to get him to phone up a girl, but she doesn't want to come round. Then he collapses in an exhausted pile. If I'm lucky, the sink won't break and flood the entire house.

6: Finally, I give up and try to get him to go to bed. He finally falls asleep.

7: Then the clown wakes him up. Did I mention that there's this random poofing clown that keeps wandering about the house? I don't know why, he just shows up. What does he do? I don't know. He just walks about, sobbing and doing bad tricks. In fact, his one contribution is that he wakes up Eggy every hour.

8: After waking up about 5 times, Eggy has to get up again, just as exhausted as he was before. He then goes to work again, where he is told his performance is poor, and he's not going to get promoted, so he's paid pittance. How do you improve performance? You keep him happy. What's a good way to do this? A good night's sleep. Why can't I do this? The clown. How do I get rid of the clown? Keep Eggy happy.

I HATE THAT CLOWN.



Remember, this is just with one fella. Last week, I started a family with 6 people. The entire think went to hell, everyone got depressed. Then the over caught fire and the mother burned to death.



Man, I hate that game. It's the entertainment equivalent of trying to walk through a hedge.



Today's NEW zombie killing weapon: The random backwards swastika boomerang, frisbee shuriken blade thing thrown by the sexy looking woman in the Sin City Trailer.