Wednesday, September 7, 2005

It's religion Wednesday!

In which I look up random verses from the Bible and make fun of them.

Nehemiah ch.8 vs9: And Nehemiah, which is the Tirshatha, and Ezra the priest the scribe, and the Levites that taught the people, said unto all the people, this day is holy unto the LORD your God; mourn not, nor weep. For all the people wept, when the heard the word of the law.

Now I'm no big city sociologist, but I'd think that if your law causes everybody to burst into tears, it's probably not a very good one. Like that stupid 'no marrying your own cousins' law they had in Scotland that time and then all the townspeople rioted and burned the chief judge ALIVE in a giant wicker giant. When was that, ten years go? And they've never had a dumbass law like that since. I wonder... is burning at the stake* permitted by God? Let's ask THE BIBLE!

Judges ch.20 vs48: And the men of Israel turned again upon the Children of Benjamin, and smote them with the edge of the sword, as well the men of every city, as the beast, and all that came to hand: also they set on fire all the cities that they came to.

So basically, burning at the stake and sword stabbery seems to be A-OK by god, just so long as the person you're burning at the stake happens to be a city in the way of your armies, or the kid of somebody called Benjamin. So that's another moral dilemma solved using the power of The Bible.



If you have a moral/ethical dilemma that needs a bit of godly help, please tell me and I'll waste more time and insult the holy text a bit more. And give you the answer - straight from God's textbook to your computer. Mwahah.

*Mmm... steak.

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