IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY (now with extra bunnies)

I was 17. I actually got some rather sickhead stuff from my amigos, which is a change from all the random shit I usually get. Particularly impressive was the massive pirate hat from Lucia, and the utterly supoib* spiderman who threw huge red balls at things from Steve... odd. And Fati's sword. By the way, this still doesn't mean that I'm getting any of you anything good for your respective birthdays. And I still want to be invited to the parties.^

And now for a long blog about my birthday party. Well, it all began when I woke up at 8AM (in the morning). I was feeling good, and so I decided to get up and go downstairs to open my presents. And so For fuck's sake, I really have no will to blog about my birthday at all. So instead I'm going to just make a random picture on photoshop and you can ENJOY IT.

...

In fact, I'm not even going to do THAT. Instead, here's the snotty remnants of a blog idea I had back in February but then gave up on for being shit: A DRAWING COMPETITION! Yes, I told everybody** to draw me a picture of A BUNNY. WITH A CHAINSAW. I mean, woah man. I wonder what sort of wild and crazy things my fanbase came up with? I just wonder... oh wait, no, here they are. By the way, I wouldn't get your hopes up. Most of these are the artistic equivalents of crashing headfirst into a brick wall at 500mph.

8 Bunnies***
(Arranged in order of shitness, from utterly shit to slightly less shit)

Roxy

Seriously man, wtf? I doubt that Roxy honestly put 100% effort into this assignment. I fail to see a bunny. Or a chainsaw. The words 'Bunny die' scrawled across it do NOTHING to disguise the shitty microsoft paint nature of this abomnation. WHY IS THERE AN ANUS IN THE MIDDLE OF IT?
To be brutally honest, this is shit. And it looks like somebody peed all over it. Roxy, I award you 0 marks. Now fuck off.

Paul

Well, at least this one had a rabbit of some sort in it. Ableit, one with CDs for eyeballs. And disturbingly long legs. And, you know, that COULD be a chainsaw. Or a really crappy flamethrower. To be honest, I don't know. I just don't know. I mean, looking at it, you can nearly pretend that it wasn't scribbled in two minutes on a pad of paper in the middle of the Tate modern.
No, you can't. Paul, this is very unimpressive. In fact, it's so unimpressive, I was forced to print it out, douse it with petrol, then use it to set fire to an innocent passing sheep.

Steve

I can see that some serious effort has gone into THIS masterpiece. That doesn't change how utterly shit it is, though. I mean, seriously, what the fuck? You take the time to carefully draw in all the floorboards to the correct perspective, add a nice red rope around the picture, then fail to do the chainsaw bunny? What are you, retarded? Or are you trying to be all cleverly post-modern and ironic here?
Oh, yeah, like, man... its a picture of a CHAINSAW BUNNY, but at the same time, it's like, you know... it's NOT because it's like, you know, just the words and... YOU SUCK.
I award you 0 marks out of 10. FAILURE, STEVE, FAILURE.

Kris

Hehehhehehe. Look, it has a little flower and everything. Aww.

Emma

I'm generally opposed to Emma just to be awkward, but hey, at least this one is coloured in. On the other hand, there is no chainsaw. And I doubt that she did it herself. To be honest, I'm kind of losing interest in this entire idea. But hey, at least I'm not blogging about hurricane Katrina. OMOMGOMGOMOGMOGOGG HE MADE A KATRINA JOKE OMG OMGOMGOMG LOLZ NO WAIT THATS WAFUL DO YOU WKNO HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE KILLED THEN THE SUPERDOME CAUGHT FIRE OMG.?:?>DSFSDLFJL :D :D:D:D
Hurricane Katrina sucks. I don't care that New Orleans got flooded. Just send a load of sharks in there with cameras attached to their heads and put it on TV. Now that would be some good viewin', right there. See, within seconds, I turn a tragedy into a money-spinning venture. I rule.

Cassie

Christ, EFFORT, Cassandra. And don't pretend to not care about your bunny. Your careful use of the word 'damn' doesn't trick me for a second. I think that the sexual chemistry in this picture speaks for itself. Notice the lustful expression in that bunny's eyes. That is one turned on lapin. Still, for being the first person to actually produce a rabbit with a chainsaw and colouring it in, Cassie does win some points. And I DO like the chainsaw ears. That's evolution, right there. But on the other hand, how does the bunny hear anything? What if it wants to listen to the smooth rapping sounds of First Blood?

Fati

Awesome, man. Just awesome. This is ART. It has it all - bunny, chainsaw, ultraviolence. Wow, just... wow. And do you like the expression on that bunny's face? That is one mean delicious chocolatey treat. That is the Evil Dead 2 of chocolate. And I love the way that the bang on the door man is totally eviscerated... he totally deserves it, cunt. Fati, I SALUTE YOU.
But it's still not as good as our final entry, a picture so amazing in it's skills and so brilliant in its creation that the person who drew it needs to be annointed as King of the entire planet ASAP.

Me

YES, IT WAS BY ME. Well, it's my blog, how can I not win? But just look at the attributes that this picture has. It's in moody black and white, therefore winning it many points for stylistic artistic integrity. It has a bunny AND a chainsaw. And, oh my god, the levels of photoshopping excellence that went into making this picture... Christ, I'm so alone.

Pretty soon I'm jumping the shark.****

*Read: Shit and random, yet oddly cool
^I am a rewarding friend like that.
**Read: Everyone who happened to be on msn at the tiem
***Like 12 Monkeys, except without Brad Pitt. Or any monkeys.
****I hate you all.