This is my apology to Nat. I know that, even though you tried to steal my girlfriend, I've been really harsh to you. I was angry and upset at the time, and the message was a horrible representation of a person that I'm trying not to be. It was wrong for me to write some of those nasty things about you. When I think about it, you are the wounded party in this entire thing. I mean, can you really help you fall truthfully and realistically in love with? I don't think so. So I'm sorry.
I really am sorry, man.
You didn't deserve such shabby treatment.
If you want to, I'll delete the previous post and we can forget that this horrible ordeal ever happened. I think that I've grown from this whole experiance as a person. I realise now that yes, I WAS taking my girlfriend for granted. I'll be sure to treat her better now. You've shown me the correct path. I owe you.
Thank you.
NOT REALLY.
This is a message for Nat
As apparently the first message for Nat wasn't enough to persuade him to stop being a bitch.
Listen, I know that you're offended that I made fun of you ON TEH INTERNETS. I know that you're probably much happier when you're bitching like a woman and making everyone feel sorry for you. Me making fun of you and thus popping your little balloon of misery probably spoilt it. Having attempted to steal my girlfriend, I bet that you're happily moping about, listening to My Chemical Romance, eating sugar and being the wronged party in this kerazy board-shuffle of bit parts and dramatic irony that we call life. Guilt trippery is fun, eh? And I'm fine with that. Do what you want to do.
But for crying out loud, what possessed you to come onto my blog and post a long comment calling me a 'little girl?'. I mean, seriously, what is this shit?
Seriously, you could have just taken it like a man. You could have manfully allowed me to cheekily prick your stupid self-image like the cheeky scamp I am. Then, there would only have been one "Let's make fun of Nat" post. But no. You HAD to try and trip-the-guilt. SO NOW THERE ARE TWO. You have kind of shot yourself in the foot.
Of course, I say 'kind of shot yourself in the foot'. What you have done in effect, is slightly worse. To be honest, you've basically gone out, bought a high calibre rifle, bullets, and a "How to kill stuff" aiming booklet. Then you've built a number of scale models of your feet out of plaster-of-Paris, and have positioned them on blocks at various distances (say, 10 metres, 50 metres, 100 metres) in an abandoned field somewhere in the Lake District. You've then spent the day practising your aiming skillz, until you can hit the feet blindfolded from any position in the dark of night. THEN, you've re-greased and re-loaded your rifle with the most penetrating, shattening, high velocity/explosive rounds you can legally buy... in ALABAMA. You've then carefully drawn an X on your foot with a solvent-free board marker, having perviously studied the Jones & Jones textbook to find the point which will result in maximum foot-damage. THEN you've pointed the rifle at your foot, taken careful aim, and finally FIRED.
THAT IS HOW MUCH YOU HAVE SHOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT WITH THE FOLLOWING COMMENT:
Tom has a right to be angry at me, But his way of dealing with it, whith a post intended to mock, gloat at and humiliate me is what i would expect from a 10 year old girl, not a 17 year old male. Perhaps you should all judge me with less haste, as tom hardly gives anybody any facts to go on, instead spending a page bitching.
< Oh, and if you edit or remove this comment, it only further proves my point,
Heres some advice for you: Next time someone treats you bad, like I clearly have, go punch them like a man, instead of bitching to your and their friends like a little girl.
Ah, the omg dog makes a triumphant return to form.
First thing I'd like to say is that there were TWELVE grammatical/syntactical/spelling/writing errors in that. And I do English Language AND Literature AS levels, so I KNOW what I'm talking about. That's not to mention the hideous amount of sexism. I'm known for my new-man femininst stance on life, and both me and my ho were OFFENDED by this comment, as you somehow imply that ten year old girls are less sophisticated than seventeen year old males.
But to be honest, have you ever met a ten year old girl? They're pretty stupid. Would a ten year old girl have used such complicated language as was in the previous post? Why I think NOT. And I have experience in such matters. I have a tennish year old sister, and she's still using stupid words like 'da' as in 'da boy' and 'sooooooo' in a non-ironic way. And she also says 'lol' and 'omg' a lot. She doesn't make any pseudo-intelligent satirical comments about the current overuse and weaknesses of airline security, while simultaneously referencing Shakespeare and using the foulest of the foul language. And she doesn't even KNOW how to use Photoshop. In fact, her artwork consists of just these really crappy crayon doodles of cats and flowers and shit. She's just retarded. My picture had a border and everything. Therefore that post could NOT have been made by a 10 year old girl. So you've embarassed yourself there.
In fact, the only thing that I can remember my 10 year old sister doing is wearing pink clothes, sending a lot of moronic and pointless text messages, and whingeing a lot in a rather bitchish way.
Hey, wait a second. Pink clothes? Text messages? Whingeing a lot when one don't get one's way? That sounds FAMILIAR. OMG IT'S YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG SO THAT MUST MEAN THAT YOU ARE TEH LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!2211!!!!ONE11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But seriously, tip for the future: Cut back on the incessant texting. Nobody appreciates being texted fifteen times being told to 'go online' then being phoned because they don't go online. Then being bitched at because they took too long to get online. Then being made to feel guilty.
Anyway, now I'm going to drop the bombshell. Prepare yourself for this baby.
At no point during this entire exciting episode was I ever pissed off with you for even half a second.
That's right. The entire thing has been a source of endless comic value to me. So why did I bother blogging about this, and thus humiliating you? Hey, you offered me a target. I had to take it.
I have really nothing else to add, so here's a nice picture of some hobbits for you to look at while you consider how much I have SUCKER PUNCHED YOU. Literally. And no, I'm not going to go and find you and punch you in the face. What are you, stupid? With my adamantine-strengthened arm muscles, I'd take off your fucking head, then I'd have to go on the run for another fifteen years.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOBBITS!
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