I'm going to Henley tomorrow

It's kind of like the bastard half-caste child of Ascott and Glastonbury. With extra tents. I intend to totally rave it up all weekend.

Not much else to report.

Several very interesting developments to report, actually. But they are definitely works in progress, and anyway there will probably be some excitement related to them in the following days. I am going to be pretty disliked in several quarters in about three days time. Who knows I might even get punched/slapped/clawed in the face if things get really exciting and Eastendersish. I doubt that though. But it WOULD BE GOOD.

What else?

Exams are over.

I fucked up my French A Level essay. It was meant to be 240 words long, and I somehow managed to drag out 350 words of tortured bullshit. When I counted the words for the first time, I panicked, because:
a: It wasn't finished. I was only halfway through my plan for the third of five paragraphs.
b: No, mostly the fact that I was like a hundred and ten words over budget and I wasn't finished writing the worst essay I have ever done.

I also managed to wang through my Advanced Extension Award English without even breaking a sweat. AEAE is the buffest exam ever; basically you get given a huge booklet of extracts from various books and stuff and you have three hours in which to read it, and then write two essays about it. WHAT ESSAYS I HEAR YOU CRY? Well, the first essay moreorless has a title going "Yeah, I don't really care to be honest, just write about whatever the fuck you want and I'll mark it for you." The second essay has basically the same structure, but with extra literary criticism.
Despite (or possibly because of) the somewhat freeform design of the AEAE paper, I manged to write eight pages of pure undiluted essay GOLD. I also managed to include the following high-brow concepts:

• Basically, Shakespeare didn't know shit and probably thought that the mistreatment of the natives slaves in the bahamas at the hand of cruel and malicious conquistadors was really funny.
  
• Some Pixies lyrics.
  
• Dreams are basically God's way of telling us that our inner psyches are fucked up.
  
• I was talking about a horse getting beaten to death for like three paragraphs. Man I hope that actually happened in some book or other or I am going to look silly.
  
• I started slagging off the main character of Zola's Germinal. I think I called him a 'wannabe moronic know-nothing loser'. Something like that. And then I made a load of sarcastic references to 'the capitalist swine'. Snigger I AM SO FUNNY WHEN DISCUSSING LITERATURE!! I bet that makes the examiner laugh. People who mark AEAE exams are alwaysssss up for a laugh, you know.
  
• "Even Jesus Christ makes a guest appearance." I actually wrote that what the hell was I thinking.
  
• Oh God.

Thinking about it... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING? Oh well. I could fail the exam for all I care. Today life is plummy. Peachy. Happy. Whatever.