Inappropriate Comments About Fake Raptures.

Well, the world didn't end yesterday. I'm sorry if this disappoints you. More sorry if you actually believed it was going to happen.

I know it just sounds like bragging, but I totally knew how this would end. Not because I have any insider knowledge....I just know Jesus. And he assures us that no one knows when that business is going to down. It could be today, could be a thousand years from today. I just know it definitely wasn't yesterday.

But. Aside from my knowledge of Jesus and Revelation, I kind of had some doubts about Harold Camping.

Let's start with the fact that this was all revealed to him through a mathematical equation. HC is 89 years old. Have you ever met an 89 year old mathlete? Negative. Call me when the 16 year old Asian kid with the Yale scholarship starts doing math. That's when I'll perk up. Until then you're gonna get a lot of smiles and nods when you start getting all Good Will Hunting on me.

Apparently he solved the equation for the proper way to draw snowflakes.

I know I sound like an ageist. I'm not. I love old people. If you're 89+ this is for you:

Hey there. I like sugar-free candy too.

Secondly, you lost me with the time table. My thought process kind of went like this...

Claim: Jesus is coming.

Me: I already knew that.

Claim: It'll be May 21st, 2011.

Me: Suspect.

Claim: At 6:00.

Me: Am or Pm?

Claim: Pm.

Me: But it's different all over the wo--

Claim: Its rolls from time zone to time zone just like the new year.

Me: Ah. No more doubts about your full-of-crapness.

Sorry, Harry. You're no wizard and I'm no fool. The rapture will not require call times.

But in all seriousness....I am sad for these people. Sad for misled followers with desperate hopes who sincerely believed this. Sad for Harold Camping and his reasons for what he does. Sad you're stuck on earth like the rest of us losers.

Look on the bright side, now you get to watch Oprah's finale show! You didn't want to miss that one, did you?

The Emo Blog.

I feel like I might be going through menopause. Or maybe its just the effects of listening to Taylor Swift near exclusively for a solid week.

Either way. I'm an emotional son of a Beeber these days. I thought I'd share with you my happy tear moments this week.

It started last Sunday when one of my Hingepoint kids who only comes every other week (sad face) brought me a gift. She handed me a little pink box with a glitter bow. In it was this.
She drew this picture of us wearing fabulous dresses and even more fabulous shoes. She also made me a bracelet.

My inner soundtrack started playing this slice of cheese.



The church I went to as a kid would play this every year on the last night of Awana. If you want to see me weep like a sad little baby all you have to do is play this song. Don't think I didn't tear up previewing the video before I put it in here.

God bless you Ray Boltz. And your curly mullet too.

I did have a mini staycation this week. I caught up on some daytime tv but even that wasn't safe. I caught a clip on Oprah about a grandson of a slave who learned to read at 98. He even went on to write a book before he died. They showed some b-roll footage of him hunched over a bible reading intently. Can you imagine? Cause I did. And then I cried, obvs.

Then Hingepoint had a baptism yesterday. I love baptisms! Its such a great day for new believers. And I was surprised when I found out one of my kids was getting baptized. I was so proud of my homie. I would post a picture of all the baptism awesomeness but I didn't want to steal Jeri's pictures. But I can assure you it's precious overload.

Then today I had an unexpected phone call with my Grandma. We chatted about some stuff and she was telling me she was proud of me. I guess I always know that but it was really sweet to hear. Made my night.

So...that's pretty much it. I think I'll go lay in the fetal position, think about my feelings and finish crying.

Oh. I almost forgot. I was able to pull myself together long enough to take a day trip to LA. Coheed and Cambria Neverender tour. Amazing. Crappy venue but great show. First there was an acoustic set, then they performed the entire Second Stage Turbine Blade album and then there were two encores. I made some poor footwear decisions but it was still a great night with my Bilary. Here are some pictures because I know you care so much.

Bil and I have a picture like this from every Coheed show we've been to.

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This is us at our first show. I think we were 18ish.