Goings On At Post Apocalyptic Bohemia

North Portland is the 5^th quadrant of Portland, sometimes dubbed the “forgotten quadrant.” Considered by most citizens to be sketchy & unpleasing, those in know recognize NoPo to be the Brooklyn of the most Brooklyn of cities, outside of Brooklyn, NYC. My inner-circle taunts me about my inability to venture out of North Portland.  Since becoming a Stay-At-Home Mom, my universe has deflated to St Johns for the gym, Arbor Lodge for dog walking, Overlook  for friends & my clinic, & of course, Kenton, my neighborhood.

North Portland is a diverse mixture of residential, commercial, & industrial. It includes the Portland International Raceway, the University of Portland, & the massive cargo facilities of the Port of Portland.

NoPo is a peninsula, with the mighty Columbia River on one side & the north flowing Willamette on the other. The confluence of the 2 rivers, at Kelly Point Park, is the end of North Portland & essentially the most northern point of Portland.

The Columbia Slough, a narrow waterway, about 19 miles long, is about 10 blocks from Post Apocalyptic Bohemia. The slough is home to more than 150 bird species including eagles, 26 fish species, otters, beaver, & coyotes.  It is one of the nation's largest freshwater urban wetlands.

Lewis & Clark actually landed & walked around North Portland after learning from Native Americans that the neighborhood was on the upswing, with many gay couples & plenty of fun spot to eat & explore.

My favorite structure in Portland, The Saint Johns Bridge is located in the North Quadrant, as is the Boys’ Fort in my back garden & BOYS’ FORT, The Husband’s retail shop & design studio.

Just to challenge myself, I took the Husband on an adventure, penetrating deep into SE Portland neighborhood of Sunnyside for shopping & lunch. We stopped to spend some time knocking around with The Husband’s buddy- Bret at the Old Portland Hardware, one of the most “Portland” of my city’s retail outlets. Bret constructs & fabricates furniture & lighting from re-purposed materials. He is keen to my vintage photography collection & had held on to some choice pieces just for me. Old Portland Hardware is a special spot that you deserve to check out.

Nothing soothes being unemployed like spending a little money on something you don't need. I was thrilled with the vintage photos that I picked up to add to the collection.

Downtown Kenton... A Film By David Lynch

This post is a repeat, but I am having a day low on imagination, famous gay people having birthdays or even new music. Will you please forgive me, dear readers? 


I am off to a meeting of The Kenton Neighborhood Association, of which I am seated on the board, a small step on my way to world domination.

Coming home, I get off the MAX train at my neighborhood stop- Denver Avenue/Kenton.  The first thing I encounter, & I mean, this is right at the train station, is Dancin’ Bare, the neighborhood strip joint. Portland has more strips clubs, per capita, than any other American city. I am proud of that statistic. It is a great that a young girl with right charms can make a living while practicing her art.


The sign is special to me because, not only does this business have a name based on a not so clever pun (like so many of Portland’s Thai joints & nail salons), but they spell out the joke for you on the sign? Twice. Funny, huh?


As I cross the street where North Interstate Avenue & North Denver Avenue meet, I am greeted by a giant Paul Bunyon (recently added to the Nation Register of Historic Roadside Landmarks). He was built for a 1959 Lumber Expo held in the neighborhood. I think he is hot. He was recently given a new paint job as part of a new neighborhood street improvement in Kenton’s little downtown, which includes widened sidewalks, a bike lane, street art & new trees & plants.

Miss Darlene

I then cross North Denver Avenue to 7 Bucks a Whack. The Husband & I both get our hair cut here by Darlene. Miss Darlene is in her 70s, with bleached blond hair piled high on her head. She wears a great deal of makeup, painted on brows & wears a satin black tube top & hot pants.


Darlene cuts hair with a cigarette dangling from the corner of her mouth. As she puts on your apron she will announce in a deep cig & beer voice- “…what’ll it be baby? A number 1 buzz cut? You sure got a lot of hair for a bald guy.”  Darlene lives nearby on a houseboat & has been in the neighborhood forever. She will give you a running commentary on the politics in the Kenton neighborhood. Her little dog– Elvis hangs out in the shop & is dressed up in a variety of outfits, including full biker gear. She told the Husband that she likes to have lunch at Dancin' Bare because- "Baby, they got a delicious French Dip for just $5!". I somehow have trouble with Au Jus & stripper poles together. Darleen does my hair, goatee & eyebrows, plus the floor show…. all this for $7(I always give her $15)!

 Other neighborhood highlights include a Victorian mansion that is lit up with outdoor lights all year round, but not at Christmas & the lovely Laundro Mat & The World Famous Kenton Club.

The World Famous Kenton Club with a special claim to fame: a scene from 1970s Roller Derby film- Kansas City Bomber was filmed at the spot.

The Historic Kenton Firehouse

Downtown Kenton had one bar & one cafe- Kenton Station & many boarded up store fronts form the 1920s-1950s when we moved into the neighborhood a decade ago. But the neighborhood now boasts: the MAX line,  BOYS' FORT, a breakfast cafe, a Thai spot, a soul food joint, a coffee shop for mommies & babies, a flower shop, a terrific architectual salvage store, a world class bamboo nursery & bamboo objects emporium, a home brewing outfit, a paper/art supply store, a head shop, liquor store & police station at the same intersection, & an historic firehouse that is now the neighborhood community center & tool library. I even have my own favorite watering hole where I am greeted by name & my cocktail is delivered wiithout having to order- Pizza Fino.

I am including a few other choice pieces of signs, graffiti & a note I found posted at the MAX stop. When I get off the train, I think: “ah, it is great to be home”.

Boys Will Be Boys

In the Holiday Season 2011, the Husband & his loyal sidekick- Lil'Jake produced a Pop-Up shop- Boys' Fort, as it turns out, the most successful shop in the Downtown Portland Pop-Up Shop program. The store was to be just for the season, hoping to garner interest in the duo's design services. Boys' Fort, named for a structure in our back garden, created by The Husband, took on a life of its own, with a big number of fans & excited customers.

Every September, the swifts return to an abandoned industrial Chimney in Downtown Kenton

A month ago, The Husband & his lackey re-opened the shop in the neighborhood in which we reside. Some would see it as a risky move. Although Kenton has gradually improved in the 11+ years that we have been here, the 3 blocks of downtown have the look of  a down-on-its-luck area, with several boarded up storefronts. 


I love Kenton, & I feel invested in making it a truly terrific, yet un-commercial (no Starbucks) neighborhood in Portland. Kenton is evolving into something special & something fantastic. For those of you that remember Portland's Mississippi Neighborhood or Ballard in Seattle before they were the hip, thriving neighborhoods, you'll remember that just a decade ago, the areas were basically derelict & empty, rather like me. All it took was a few brave entrepreneurs to come in & begin to fill the void, & am a fan of all each one.


Salvage Works & Solabee Botanicals had work represented at The Pop-Up Shop version. Now BOYS' FORT shares a space with Salvage Works & Solabee at 2030 North Willis Boulevard. These local, small businesses are helping to make Kenton a spot worth exploring & dropping some money in.


The following photos were shot by my buddy, the bodacious Bobby Bell at Third Thursday,  the Kenton neighborhood's monthly street party.

To the distress of neighborhood Mommies, this is the official Boys' Fort Slingshot, not to be confused with the official Boys' Fort Sling.

Q. What does Boy's Fort have in common with your host- Stephen?

 A. They both feature old wood.

The Chicken Coop is by the guys & gals of Salvage Works. The plants are from Solabee. What Portland homestead should be without the ubiquitous chickens? Very Portland.

An unidentified Portland Dude eyes the fort.

Boys' Fort, Solabee Botanicals & Salvage Works collaborated on the must-have Baby Doll Head Planters that sold out during the holidays. They're back & they have their eye on you.