To The Male Employee At The Place Where I Work Who's Too Lazy To Take The Elevator Down To The Lobby To Go Outside And Have Your Stupid Cigarette:

1) You're stinking up the men's bathroom with your cigarette.

2) You're a filthy asshole.

3) You're not fooling anybody.

Somehow Another Off-Brand TP Roundup

We pored through our EADJ files and discovered that we have even more off-brand TP to review. Who knew we could pull another entry out of our ass and then drag its abrasive surface over our raw asshole?


Brand: Chalet Premium Quality 2-Ply Tissue
Label: Elegant script font over a ghosted photo of a majestic castle.
Feels Like: Wiping with hot, igneous rock.


Brand: M 1-Ply Recycled Bath Tissue
Label: Four pine trees in a giant "M"
Feels Like: "H"


Brand: Decor Cascades
Label: Blue lettering with an icon of a toilet paper roll. Brilliant.
Feels Like: Wiping with brand new roof shingles.


Brand: Blue Mist Facial Quality 1-Ply
Label: Raining clouds
Feels Like: Your mother-in-law screaming into your asshole.


Brand: Livi VPG
Label: Crazed flock of birds attacking a cursive "L"
Feels Like: Your anus is a hummingbird birdfeeder.


Brand: Regal 2-Ply Facial Quality Bathroom Tissue
Label: A green coat of arms featuring a lion rampant
Feels Like: A pine cone wipeant.


Brand: CAPRI PREMIUM 2 Ply
Label: Blue flower shower stickers on a wavy background.
Feels Like: Crushed up crab shells glued to an emory board.

Programming Note

EADJ is pleased to announce that this week is ALL NEW TAGS WEEK, meaning that all of the blog labels you below each post this week will be brand new. This is a fairly new development, as we recently ponied up for more photo storage on this bad boy.

The drawback to this, however, is that any tag you click on will lead you no previous posts now. But we are seeding for the FUTURE, me lads!