Hey, look at me, I'm in ROMANIA

Woo. Woo. Etc.
I'm in Romania! AND I AM DOG TIRED. I HAVE WORKED AN 11 HOUR DAY TODAY. 11 HOURS. THIS WORK THING IS A STUPID IDEA. After this experience I shall not consider it as a good way to spend my time in the future. But hey.

Upon my arrival, I was highly pleased to see about four horses and carts as we travelled towards the Studio. This made me happy as it proved that my knowledge of the Romanian people was as perfect as ever. It reminded me of my trip to Amsterdam when I saw daffodils, windmills, dykes, pot smoking teenagers and clogs all on the minibus ride in. I haven't seen any vampires yet, but there's still plenty of time. But I have seen lots of werewolves. Granted, they're on the walls of the Art Department BUT THAT STILL COUNTS, DAMNIT. I also saw some cows on the way in. We all know that cows only exist to give REAL werewolves something to chow on. So I therefore win.

Anyway, uh, yeah. I was a bit worried when I was shoved in a room full of Romanians by my father then abandoned, but I soon cheered up when I was given a fucking sharp knife and told to cut up bits of foam board and AND AND POLYSTYRENE! Everybody loves mutilating polystyrene. Why was I doing this? To build a WOOD. A model of a wood, to be precise. So basically, working on films is like a long arts and crafts session. Wicked. And I'm still bored of it.

Today was spent making branches for model trees. Do you know how long I spent doing this? Taking away lunch break, NINE AND A HALF. YES I SPENT NINE AND A HALF SOLID HOURS TWISTING BITS OF WIRE TOGETHER, COVERING THEM IN GLUE AND THEN SPRINKLING THEM WITH GREEN STUFF. So now I have green stuff all over my hands. Wink wink. I haven't yet met my personal hero Olivier Martinez, but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. And there was a picture of him on the wall, so hey, getting closer.

Also, romania is full of gypsies (NO I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY FUCK OFF YOU ANNOYING KIDS), mangy dogs who are cute, and people speaking romanian. I don't like it when people speak foreign languages. Especially Romanian, which is like the bastard son of the modern languages department. Seriously, yes is 'da', no is 'noo', thank you is 'merci', etc etc etc. But I still can't understand them. And this may be seen as paranoia, but if I'm in the room with a bunch of foreigners talking in foreign (or as it's technically known, 'gobbledegook') and they laugh, I assume that they're laughing at me. Gits. You can laugh, eh, but... yeah.

Ha ha Heathrow is on strike. Losers. I flew in yesterday. Look at all those cunts waiting around. YOUR PLANE IS CANCELLED. YOU ARE SCREWED. SCREWED I SAY. JUST ROT IN THE AIRPORT WHILE I SIT ALL COMFY IN MY HOTEL ROOM. You lot suck. Loooooooooosers.

Ha ha there's a place in India called Islamabad. I have no idea why that makes me laugh. Sounds like a wrestling move.