Coming Soon to Toys R Us: The Unenthused CSI Lab Technician Kit!

The Unenthused CSI Lab Technician Kit by Toomy Toy is a great new way for kids who are fans of the "CSI" crime investigation TV franchise to practice being surly forensic lab technicians while the cool kids go run outside with guns and badges!

What better way for computer geeks, science fair geeks, and overweight kids to imagine themselves all grown up and doing the "shit work" of matching DNA from a hooker's missing toe to spattered blood on a district attorney's office wall!

Relive episode 5.3 of "CSI: Miami" where a faceless and soulless lab assistant tells David Caruso that the fingerprints on the stolen gun does NOT match those found on the glass shards in that dead bison's backside!

Have your kids deliver insipid lines like:

"I've swabbed the interior of the suspect's van and found no incendiary residue!"

"The crime scene was contaminated by curious campers, so we'll never get a clear boot print!"

"As a forensic pathologist, I can say with certainty that a bear did not decapitate the mayor!"

"I've cross-referenced the sweat from this headband with the DNA of every member of the state legislature. And nothing!"

"This is a rare breed of caterpillar found only in the southwest region of Jakarta... What can I say? I love bugs!"




The Unenthused CSI Lab Technician Kit will be on shelves early April, just in time for this year's Arbor Day!

Another Joel Angel Update

In case any of you were wondering where Joel's video of doing Criss Angel magic tricks is, Joel has assured us that he's working on it.

It turns out that Joel has recently come into possession of a full carwash with his wife. So they have been busy on the up-keep, maintenance and general operation of the carwash. Those of you who watch the excellent show "Breaking Bad" might suspect that Joel is secretly selling meth.

As a token of good faith, Joel has sent us this magic trick "teaser:"



I do believe Joel might have gotten run over by a car after filming this.

A Work Of Art

Spotted in South Orange, New Jersey, this exquisite outdoor sculpture of unknown origin.


What's interesting about this soaring, monumental piece is that it seems the bright, solid opposite of a grave and strikes at the whole definition of sculpture right away. It does not suggest flight or the ability to fly or even movement, but rather it plays the role of intermediary between the sky and the earth. The solid, consistent mass of the base holds it to the earth by the force of gravity. Art critics are instantly reminded of the bold organic lines of Alexander Calder's La Grande Voile or Merete Rasmussen's clear, clean curves.


This sculpture can be viewed in front of Cleanway Car Wash, where you can get a brushless carwash, interior detailing job, hubcap waxing, and floor mat laundering for only $29.99. SUVs are $5 extra.