Let's Wash The EADJ Mail Sack In Hot Water And Bake The Stains In Worse Than They Are Already!

Submitted by Patrick Ng, an open invitation to participate in the filming of "Beckinfield" with Star Trek: The Next Generation's Jonathan Frakes.




What is "Beckinfield," you ask? According to their website, "Anyone can join the ongoing story, build an audience, impress a Hollywood casting director, be featured in the highlight reel, and even make headlines in the Beckinfield newspaper."

So, that means Jonathan Frakes is essentially padding his resumé with online community theatre.

EADJ's Exclusive Interview With Jillian Michaels' Left Nostril

Eat A Dick Joel recently had the opportunity to sit down with the left nostril of Jillian Michaels, the celebrity fitness trainer from the NBC hit reality show "The Biggest Loser." We interviewed Michaels' left nostril at the Chateau Marmont in Beverly Hills on December 20th.

EADJ: Thanks for sitting down with us.

JMLN: No problem.

EADJ: We've noticed Jillian Michaels isn't with you today.

JMLN: Yes, Jillian is on a media tour promoting the next season of "Losing It With Jillian." I myself had some prior commitments, such as this interview.

EADJ: Well, thank you for that. How has her success affected your relationship with her?

JMLN: (laughs) That's probably the first question I get at every interview. I'm happy for Jillian and don't begrudge her at all. So when people read some of my Tweets (@JillianMichaelsLeftNostril) or overhear me say something about keeping up with her, they automatically think that she and I are on the rocks. That couldn't be anything further from the truth!

EADJ: But you do have your differences...

JMLN: I'm going to just stop you there and say this: when you have two big personalities like hers and mine, you can't help but have a few clashes once in a while. But I realize I'm her left nostril. She can't breathe without me...

EADJ: Actually, she could, from her mouth or her right nostril...

JMLN: (flares) ...My point is that I need her and she needs me. We have a mutual respect for each other and are not staying together just for appearances.


EADJ: I see. So tell us about your own personal projects.

JMLN: Ah, yes. Well, I have my own line of liqueurs and fragrances, and I've just taped a cameo appearance on the NBC show "Whitney."

EADJ: Ooh! I love that show!

JMLN: Also, I'm in talks for the role of the Scarlet Witch in "The Avengers 2" movie (crosses fingers) and I have been asked to ring the opening bell for the New York Stock Exchange next month.


EADJ: Wow. It sounds like you do have a full plate.

JMLN: I know, right? Fame is a funny thing. (picks self)

EADJ: Thank you so much for talking to us today! And give Jillian a hug for us!

JMLN:My pleasure! Thank you!