Since yesterday's entry, Hollywood has been abuzz with "Stunt Cat" scriptwriting and development since they are essentially creatively bankrupt. Studios from Miramax to Universal are clambering to be the first to release a feature film called "Stunt Cat" with merchandising tie-ins, promotional tours at comicons, and possible 3D conversion after the initial release. Here are the five top ideas for this white hot property:
Scenario 1: "Stunt Cat:" Vogue editor Anna Wintour voices Stella, the fashion-conscious cat in a 30th floor penthouse who uncovers murder and adventure (and even love) in this high-altitude animated thriller from Dreamworks. Karl Lagerfeld voices "Detente," the finicky bulldog!
Status: Still rendering.
Scenario 2: "Stunt Kat:" Kat Dennings stars as a clumsy stuntwoman whose main talent is falling down and letting her spectacular boobs fall out of her jumpsuit.
Status: In development, if you know what I mean.
Scenario 3: "Stunt Cat:" Peter Dinklage plays James "Cat" Catherall, a dwarf assassin who uses his "stunted" stature to squeeze into the headquarters of TicketMaster and kill every last motherfucking person who works or draws a paycheck from that miserable company. Rated E for Everyone.
Status: Happening now.
Scenario 4: "Stunt Cat:" A live action romp featuring real-life stunt cat Herbie and cast of over four dozen Parkour free runners and performers from the stage show "Stomp." Soundtrack by Blue Man Group and the Cirque Du Soleil players. Directed by Tarsem.
Status: Unbearable.
Scenario 5: "Stunt Cat:" Ridley Scott films a movie about a cat who may or may not be an alien, who uses stunts to reproduce and populate other planets, and it's possible this may be a prequel to "Alien," but nobody is saying anything like that, and you can enjoy it as a stand-alone movie, which is total bullshit because just look at it.
Status: Aliens.
