Barbara Walters: Thank you for taking the time to sit down with me. I know you're busy.
Broccoli Farts: My pleasure.
Barbara Walters: I understand that you are the gastrointestinal result of eating either raw or cooked broccoli– is that correct?
Broccoli Farts: Yes. It doesn't really matter what state the broccoli is in when you eat it. I'm there either way, although some will still tell you that I am more intense after a meal of raw broccoli, like in a salad. And even though I've gotten a lot of media coverage lately, I just wanted to say that I've been around for a long time before all this hype.
Barbara Walters: Hm.
Broccoli Farts: BRAAAAAAAPPPP!
Barbara Walters: So was that cooked?
Broccoli Farts: I forget. I think so.
Barbara Walters: Tell me about your home life. Is there a Mrs. Broccoli Farts?
Broccoli Farts: No, not yet. (laughs) I'm still trying to find the right girl. I mean, obviously in my line of work, it's pretty hard to meet someone. No, I have two male roommates in a 2-bedroom apartment. Josh and I each have a bedroom, and Yamir sleeps on a futon over by the television in the main room.
Barbara Walters: Yamir?
Broccoli Farts: BBBBRRAAAHHHHHRRRFFFF! I'm sorry, excuse me?
Barbara Walters: Your roommate Yamir?
Broccoli Farts: Yes, he's from India. He's an exchange student, going to the School of Visual Arts for graphic design, I believe.
Barbara Walters: You have been called a "rebel," a "rapscallion," and "someone I don't want around my dinner table." How do you respond to those charges?
Broccoli Farts: Everyone's entitled to their opinion of me. The fact is, I'm there whether you want me there or not. I'll loudly enter a room mid-story, or I can quietly sneak in if someone leans to the side in their chair. I have my ways of showing up, regardless how high-falutin the occasion is. (smiles)
Barbara Walters: It strikes me that you're so much more pleasant than people make you out to be.
Broccoli Farts: I don't know about that, Barbara. Maybe you're just catching me on a good day! There have been times that I've caused headaches, nausea and even the occasional botched bris.
Barbara Walters: Bris? As in the circumcision ceremony?
Broccoli Farts: FRRRRAHHHHRRRRAHHHHBBAAARRAAAAAHHHH! See? That was a bad one.
Barbara Walters: Thank you for talking to us, Broccoli Farts.
