More Proof That I'm Going To Die In A Car

Resting On His (Spicy) Laurels

Spotted in Manhattan, a gyro cart that features a laminated, horribly Photoshopped photo of the proprietor next to Bobby Flay.

"Excellent LAMB!! Rahman"

Meanwhile, I can't order one of these excellent lamb gyros because Rahman's asleep. HELLO?!

The EADJ Sticker Show

Sticker: Odd dude's head wearing sunglasses.

Location: Brooklyn

Since there was no text to Google, we imported the closeup photo into Photoshop, where we tried straightening out the sticker and then ran it through the TinEye reverse image search engine. No matches.

Status: Unsolved. Case still open.

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Sticker: MEAT POST

Location: at Wahoo's Fish Taco stand in Santa Monica, CA

A quick Google search instantly came up with the MEAT POST blog, run by skaters and surfers.

Unfortunately, it looks like this blog has been abandoned after one entry. Slackers!

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Sticker: #DBD

Location: Manhattan

The hashtag definition of DBD is "Don't Be Dumb." Google also offers "Disruptive Behavior Disorder." And this came up on Google Image Search. You're welcome.

Status: Unsolved. Uncared about.

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Sticker: Aminal

Location: New Jersey

An eagle with a crocodile's head is pretty hilarious.

There isn't much of a mystery here. I went to the band's myspace page, and their music isn't all that terrible at all. Unfortunately, they haven't put up enough stickers, because on their Facebook page, they have only ONE LIKE.

Status: Solved. And pitied.

EADJ Fashion Roundup

 

Overburdened by two heavy black bags? Why not pass the burden on to two four inch heels? Fuck 'em.

 

 What's crazier than cutting off your ear and sending it to a prostitute? That tie.

 

 

 So this guy is not only riding on the train, he's wearing a jacket with a patch WITH A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT.

 

A SUBWAY TRAIN ON IT. Oops. That overflowed onto this one. This girl wore such a short skirt to Panera Bread, the rolls nearby rose from the yeast.

 

Click on this photo to enlarge. Now look at that woman's expression. Exactly, lady.

 

If you're gonna be top-heavy with a bag and sweater on top of six inch heels in the subway, hell yeah, you better stand in the center of the platform.

 

Obama. AC/DC. Together. Finally. For some reason. Now.

 

"Doug, since you're going to such an important meeting, you really should wear that nice suit. And we're not talking just one ponytail cinch. This is a big meeting, so wear two to really dress up."

 

Rome reople really rink rey ran ralk raround Rew Rork Rity ressed rike Raggy rom Rooby-Doo, rut rey are rerribly ristaken. Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh!

 

 "Where's the other pink armadillo-and-radiator sock to match this pink armadillo-and-radiator sock? Fuck it, I'll wear black socks, but it won't look right."

An Imagined Conversation

Hey Maxie, put Bobby on. It's Todd. No, I can't wait. Put him on now.

(waits)

Bobby. Hey Bobby. It's Todd. You didn't unlock the freight entrance. No, you said you'd unlock it as soon as you were in, and I'm outside standing with a loop of tube like an asshole...No, I don't care what happened. Come around back and unlock the door so I can get in...What? A loop of tube. It's the tube for the ventilation install but rolled up in a loop. A LOOP of tube... No, come out now. I don't care if something came up... The what? Yeah, I don't care about that. We can take care of both of those later. I'm standing outside with this loop of tube looking like an asshole, so hurry up and come arou... Hah? What the heck does that mean? Look, I know we got a lot of job orders before Friday, and we got a whole list right after we install the... just come around and unlock the friggin' door, will ya, Bobby? Come on.

No, I ain't yellin' at you 'cause I'm mad at you. I'm yellin' because...

A LOOP of tube. It's a length of tube, like 50 feet, rolled in a loop. Wh.. why can't you hear me? Do you want to use the walkies? I'm like, thirty feet away from you, Bobby. A LOOP. Of TUBE.

What do you mean nobody says that? It's ventilation tubing, five inch, corrugated black plastic. And it's in a loop. I'm standing out here like an asshole holding a giant loop. Or hoop. Hoop sounds weird.

Are you gonna open the door, Bobby? I got some guy here now taking a photo of me with his cell phone, and I don't wanna end up on his blog like an asshole, standing here with a giant loop of tube.

Come on, Bobby, you're killing me.

Without A Trace

Last Wednesday, I walked by that pay phone where I originally found that excellent huge dick collage/painting, and bizarrely, it wasn't there no more:

This was last Wednesday, the same day that President Barack Obama said he supported gay marriage. COINCIDENCE?

I still have that bad boy at work, by the way. Good thing I rescued it.

New York City. The Most Exciting City On Earth

Pictured below, a man helps a woman with her coat's zipper (or is the woman helping the man with his coat's zipper?). Either way, we are the world.

The ProofrEADJer: End of April Edition

This one's a two-fer:

This one submitted by Jason Rogers:

And this other piece of Engrish by Tom Weingard:

An Imagined Conversation Monologue

Hey what you want. Egg and bacon sandwich? Okay, here. Three dollar.

Okay, you. What you want. Coffee and muffin? Here. Two fifty. Cream and sugar over there.

Hey what you want. Bagel? We got plain, sesame, garlic, jalapeño-cheddar, onion, everything, cinnamon raisin, chocolate chip, poppy, blueberry, egg, salt, pumpernickel, whole wheat, cheddar, multi-grain, rye, honey whole-wheat everything. Onion bagel? Okay.

What you want on your onion bagel. Cream cheese? We got reduced fat plain, garlic & herb, strawberry, tijuana hot, vegetable, scallion, and honey almond.

Oh, you want it toasted? Okay (removes cream cheese). Okay, it's toasted. You want cream cheese? We got reduced fat plain, garlic & herb, strawberry, tijuana hot, vegetable, scallion, lox and honey almond.

No, lox is not the cream cheese flavor. Lox is lox. You want cream cheese and lox? What flavor cream cheese? We got reduced fat plain, garlic & herb, strawberry, tijuana hot, vegetable, scallion, and honey almond.

Okay, toasted onion bagel with vegetable cream cheese and lox. Three dollar.

What? You want six more bagels? Ah, fuck this shit. NO MORE BAGELS.

The EADJ Sticker Show, Entry 3

Here's the semi-seasonal EADJ wrap-up some interesting stickers we've seen around town and their true meaning, courtesy of some Internet snooping.

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Shake Junt sticker spotted in Union, New Jersey.

Smoothie joint or line of hair care products?


Shake Junt is a skateboarding company from L.A., founded by Shane Heyl and is part of Baker Boys Distribution.

From Urban Dictionary: "Not JUST a brand, but a lifestyle. One which is filled with blunts, 40's and skating with the homies. The brand was started by the homies for the homies, and it what skating is all about."


They also feature a Spring 2012 catalog selling everything from DVDs to shirts to skateboard grip tape, marijuana leaf Hawaiian shirts, knapsacks, 40 oz coozies and yes, stickers.


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Cody B. Ware sticker spotted in Brooklyn.

Wrestler mag or political movement?



Neither. It's a rapper. And he's not too bad, either. "Cody B. Ware is Cody Morgan Verdecias. A 23 year old dreamer from the spirit world who represents Brairwood Jamaica, Queens. The child of interracial parents. Half Spanish Half Jewish. Hopeless Romantic keeping my PMA on high. My mother gave me my birth name & Graham Masser (Bad Rabbits) blessed me with the name of Cody B. Ware."



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Forever Is Fleeting sticker spotted in Princeton, New Jersey.

Since it's got a myspace URL, I'm going to guess terrible rock band.


Bingo. This scrappy unsigned group of musicians from Lower Bucks, Pennsylvania, feature three songs on their page: "Restart My Heart [NEW!]" "Take Advantage [NEW!]" and "Miles (Acoustic Version)."

They added their newest member, Alison Cloud(keyboard and vocals) sometime in 2010.


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Stoke Harvester sticker spotted in Seattle.

Organic food co-op or skateboard company?


Skateboard company. They sell skimboards, paddle boards, surfboards, skate gear and wetsuits. And the requisite trucker hat.



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Pat Falco can jump this high spotted in Midtown.

Underground shoe company or graffiti artist?


Turns out Pat Falco is sort of the latter. "Pat Falco is an artist, rapper, and curator. He has several redeeming qualities and is considered by his mom to be 'her son.'

Pat Falco is a cartoonist, rapper, t-shirt designer and frequent blogger. So it's no surprise that he's also a self-promoter.

The black figure with his penis hanging down is a character in his ongoing comic strip.


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Dolphins Rape People spotted in Soho.

Ironic skateboard company or sketch comedy troupe?



Neither. It's actually, quite literally, a group of people wanting to "reach out to the victims of dolphin rape and share their stories with the world."

"This is no laughing matter. We must all band together to stop the atrocity that is dolphin rape."

They even documented the world's various dolphin rape cave locations.


And they're selling more stickers at 2 for 5 bucks.
Mmm. Maybe it is a sketch comedy troupe, just trolling.