It's Time For Another Installment of The EADJ Facebook De-Friender

You can enjoy the previous other episode of the Facebook De-Friender here.

In a world where it's a rare and beautiful gift to have a real friend, a Facebook friend, however, is an easily disposable thing you can chuck at a whim. Because let's be honest– Facebook friends only wish you a Happy Birthday because Facebook told them it was, and they would never have otherwise. Still, we at EADJ still believe in the "3 strikes" rule, and a certain Facebook friend whose initial is "P"  failed that test yesterday.

"P" is from the small town in North Carolina that I grew up in, and we were never friends when we attended junior high and high school together. I believe it was the class reunion and/or the realization of our mortality that prompted us to connect on Facebook.

And what has friending her done for me or her? Well, I've never written any notes to her (I acknowledge my negligence in this friendship), and she hasn't ever written to me. We'd been Facebook friends for over a year with no communication, until recently I started getting some shitty requests from her to play "Free Slot Machines." To protect "P's" identity, I have replaced her profile photo with a shot of goat turds:

And I got this third Free Slot Machines request last night:

And with the 3 strike rule in effect, it's time to play LOSE THAT FB FRIEND!

*** INSERT COIN ***

CREDIT :1

PLAY MAXIMUM BET

Three in a row! Jackpot! We have a loser!

I Gotta Stop Picking Up Random Magazines.

Spotted in the April issue of New York Resident Magazine (what?!), an ad for the PetzLife line of oral care products. It so many bad design decisions that I have to slow the car down just to watch.

(click to enlarge)


First off, slapping some clipart human grins onto a miserable looking dog and cat and making them the main visual in the ad would be enough for me to fire the designer.


But apparently, the client liked the visual so much, they slapped it on the QR code:


Then there's the burlap background, the hideous insets of stained pet teeth, the small, dull product shots, the 7 Oral Problems they just made up on the spot, the twenty typefaces they used, the sickly green hue on all the photography, and the microscopic 'how to use' section.


If that weren't enough, they fence off a section at the bottom for some anxiety-relieving drops. "Works great for thunderstorms and fireworks!" Which actually sounds like a good idea, since pets are terrified of those noises. But if you're going to force feed them some liquid to calm them down, why not just use cough syrup or booze?


A 4.5 oz. bottle of those drops goes for 24 bucks, by the way. Yeesh. A 1.75L of Smirnoff Vodka, however, goes for only $17. Just sayin.