It's Time For Another Installment of The EADJ Facebook De-Friender

You can enjoy the previous other episode of the Facebook De-Friender here.

In a world where it's a rare and beautiful gift to have a real friend, a Facebook friend, however, is an easily disposable thing you can chuck at a whim. Because let's be honest– Facebook friends only wish you a Happy Birthday because Facebook told them it was, and they would never have otherwise. Still, we at EADJ still believe in the "3 strikes" rule, and a certain Facebook friend whose initial is "P"  failed that test yesterday.

"P" is from the small town in North Carolina that I grew up in, and we were never friends when we attended junior high and high school together. I believe it was the class reunion and/or the realization of our mortality that prompted us to connect on Facebook.

And what has friending her done for me or her? Well, I've never written any notes to her (I acknowledge my negligence in this friendship), and she hasn't ever written to me. We'd been Facebook friends for over a year with no communication, until recently I started getting some shitty requests from her to play "Free Slot Machines." To protect "P's" identity, I have replaced her profile photo with a shot of goat turds:

And I got this third Free Slot Machines request last night:

And with the 3 strike rule in effect, it's time to play LOSE THAT FB FRIEND!

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CREDIT :1

PLAY MAXIMUM BET

Three in a row! Jackpot! We have a loser!

UAG

A Very Happy Thanksgiving 2011 From EADJ

Once again, we at EADJ wish you and your one friend a happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend. And like every single weekday since December 2, 2006, we still post something for scores of our readers to enjoy, even on holidays.

Here's an IM convo with Tom Weingard:



Here's a photo of Jay Cohen doing "research" on social media websites:



And here's some clipart of a turkey who doesn't understand what's about to go down:




Don't overeat, you fuckers!

Let's Snort Cocaine Off the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by my brother Jay, a Facebook post that also doubles as a Rorschach test:


"OMG....I soooo thought that the picture was something else at first glance. Geez, the innocence is all gone."

John Reid's Been Away From Full Time For Too Long

John Reid's been away from full time for too long.





John Reid's been away from full time for too long.

Introducing: The EADJ Facebook Defriender

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CREDIT 01


START

When it comes to Facebook postings, we at EADJ we believe in the "3 Strikes" rule; everyone gets several passes when it comes to posting stupid stuff on their Walls. But even we have our limits, which is why we've started the EADJ Facebook Defriender: a way for us to prune the tree of digital friendship when certain branches get annoying as shit.

This first pruning is our friend K_______ from ___________, who we know from _________. We posted some time ago when we noticed that K_______ uploaded very sexualized drawings of Betty Boop as their profile pic, in addition to posting every Farmville acquisition or horoscope she got daily. That's strike one.


Recently, they decided to post every music video that Nickelback ever produced. All at once.





Strike two. Then ON THE SAME DAY, when they ran out of Nickelback, they started posting music videos by Creed:


Fucking UNACCEPTABLE.


Auf Wiedersehen, K_______! Don't let the door hit your creepy cartoon ass on the way out!



GAME OVER

Post 4th Fizzle or Sizzle

Fugitives from the law - Ray lit my killer bees fireworks and we had a little mini-display without setting ourselves on fire. We did enjoy the City of Bedford's display from our front yard - could see the show zoom into the sky from the Boy's Ranch. Thumbs up on the ooh! and aah! factor.

The week after July 4, 1776 must have been a huge letdown for the major players as they clopped on horseback back to the farm or awaited reviews in the local press. Sweating under powdered wigs and smiling for the local citizens who questioned ones wisdom and words must have been a drag. What would our Revolutionary heroes make of today’s interactive, instant news world? Would the Declaration of Independence have been written and signed or would it have been tweaked with blog leaks and twittered commentary?

I think Ben Franklin’s Facebook page would have been incredibly popular and he’d have been reprimanded dearly for keeping his cell phone on ring. Thomas Jefferson’s blog would have a lot of folks bragging that they read it, but none that could understand his esoteric treatise on democracy and freedom. George Washington’s huge fan base would have everyone in Philly tweeting about his whereabouts. Finally, there’s poor John Adams - nary a comment or friend. (Abigail, on the other hand…)


Social networking certainly has its place, but when it comes to great writing and deep thinking, it is best to turn to solitude. Whether by the glow of the computer screen, or the flicker of candlelight, writers should contemplate quiet and history, dig deep, and then let the words click, the ink flow. Oh, the pen is mighty. Yes, create your platform and your outlets, but make sure your words live up to the hype. This was true in 1776 and now in today’s 2009 world.

Enjoy July and make it sizzle, not fizzle

Joanne