People Are So Inconsiderate.

People are so inconsiderate. Not only do they leave their shopping carts in the middle of parking spaces, just steps away from a cart corral...


... but they don't finish a perfectly good corn on the cob and just leave it out for crows to pick at.

"Lean Somewhere Else, Jagoff."

Pictured above, J'Net attempts to pay for a parking space around some dude who's cold cold lampin'.

Success!

A previous attempt to use these fantastic letterpressed cards with "NICE PARKING JACKASS" on them was unsuccessful, as we dumbly put the card on the offending car while still leaving our card adjacent. Bad idea jeans. This time, however, we were sure to leave the calling card right before peeling out.

Check out this tan car that parked way over the line into our spot at the parking lot at Pathmark. We could barely get out of our car, much less pull the baby car seat out from that side.



So we patiently exited the other side, did our grocery shopping, then came back, relieved to see the moron's car still there. It was then that we left the card for them to discover and learn the error of their ways. Huzzah!

Jackasses Are Also Douches

Earlier last month, J'Net bought me these nice, embossed cards to leave on other people's cars:


Just yesterday, I got to use my first. I was trying to pull into a space in a Target parking lot, but this big black SUV had parked almost diagonally with its stupid ginormous back right wheel into my space. I pulled out one of J'Net's cards and placed it under their windshield, but not without removing a cigar stub that someone else had left there (presumably another parker with the same complaint).

After picking up what I needed in the store, I came back out to see some crewcutted dude in mirror shades going to the SUV. I hung back, pretending to be waiting for another ride while I watched him walk behind his car, look at the parking job, then look at the cars on either side. He wasn't messing with my car, so I just waited until he pulled away angrily. Then I went back to my car like the nonconfrontational coward I am.

I've learned two important lessons from this maiden voyage:

1) If you're going to leave one of those cards on a car, don't park next to that car.

2) No matter how hot the weather gets, when leaving a card, do NOT keep your window cracked.



Thanks for giving back card #1, you stogie-chomping asshole! I get to use it again on another of your insufferable kind!

Let's Spray Pam All Over The EADJ Mail Sack!

Given to me by J'Net, some nice embossed cards for me to leave on other cars in parking lots around Jersey:


I even read them in her voice.