An Imagined Conversation

"Wanna cig?"
"Sure, thanks. Don't mind if I do."
"I got a lighter here somewhere..."
"No, wait. You can't smoke in here."
"Why not?"
"See the sign? It says no smoking. That an alarm will sound if we do."
"No, that's not what it says at all. It says that no smoking alarm will sound if we smoke. So it's cool."
"Well, if that were so, the word 'alarm' would be on the same line as 'smoking.'"
"There! I found my lighter!"
"Yeah, I don't think we should smoke in here."
"You're totally reading into that sign. It says it's cool to smoke and not to worry, no smoking alarm will sound if we do smoke."
"Why would they put up a sign that says 'it's cool to smoke?' Wouldn't they more likely put up a sign that says 'no smoking?' And what the hell is a smoking alarm?"
"A smoking alarm is what goes off if you're smoking where you shouldn't. Which is what they're assuring us will NOT go off if we smoke here."
"I don't mean to overthink this..."
"I think you are."
"...but wouldn't they just put a sign that says 'SMOKING PERMITTED?'"
"What if they couldn't spell the word 'permitted?'"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."

*casually lights cigarette*
**** ALARM SOUNDS ****

An Ad Spotted in An In-Flight Magazine

An ad for Blu "premier" electronic cigarettes- not those cheapo ghetto electronic cigarettes you grab at any bodega- endorsed by "DJ Heavy Grinder."

So it's a no-tar, no-ash, no-odor, electronic cigarette that makes you look like you're sucking on a pen light. But is it still addictive and cause cancer in infants? I hope so.

It sort of makes sense that a girl with colored contacts, dyed hair and a faux fur would endorse a fake cigarette. And her man hands makes me think DJ Heavy Grinder's got another secret. Pickle!

Here's the link to Blu Cigs.

And here's DJ Heavy Grinder's myspace page.