TASK CHAIR AIN'T THROUGH WITH YOU YET BITCH

(Visual by Andrew Gall)





HEY PUSSY



THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH TASK CHAIR? THAT'S CUTE. YOU THINK YOU'VE MOVED ON, BUT FACT IS, YOUR SORRY ASS STILL NEEDS A TASK CHAIR.



SO SIT YOUR PUSSY ASS DOWN ON YOUR INFERIOR CHAIR AND LISTEN TO THIS SHIT. YOU'LL GET TASKS DONE RIGHT LIKE A BOSS IN A TASK CHAIR. BALANCE YOUR CHECKBOOK, DONE. COMPLETE TIME SHEETS, BOOM, DONE. SHIT, COMPLETE A SUDOKU FOR ALL I CARE, WHO GIVES A TOM FUCK. BOTTOM LINE IS, YOU WILL COMPLETE TASKS.



ARE YOU LISTENING, YOU SIMPERING PUSSY?



YOU NEED TO CLEAN OUT YOUR BITCH EARS AND STOP DAYDREAMING BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THAT IS WHAT'S KEEPING YOU FROM WINNING. TASK CHAIR WILL DRAG YOUR DUMB-ASS OUT OF THAT FUNK AND SET YOU STRAIGHT. STOP BEING SUCH A NON-PRODUCTIVE PUSSY.



I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT COMPLETING A SUDOKU. THAT SHIT IS FRIVOLOUS PASTIME BULLSHIT THAT WILL GET YOU NOWHERE. DO I NEED TO SLAP YOU AWAKE, YOU COCKSUCKER?



LONG STORY SHORT, GET A TASK CHAIR AND FUCKING RAPE THAT TO DO LIST. SEACREST OUT.

An Open Letter To Generations Younger And Older Than Me

Dear Generations Younger And Older Than Me:

What is your problem? All you do is sit there, complaining about the values and behavior of my generation. You say that we're out of touch with your generation's needs and desires, that we can't understand your problems because we don't simply don't care.

Hey, look. We do care, but our generation's got our own problems to deal with, like having and raising kids, keeping down a good-paying job to pay for the mortgage, and trying to find some REAL music on the radio. All you ever do is sit in your bedroom, blaring your godawful music (who listens to that?!) and whining about when dinnertime is coming.

We recognize that there's this generational divide that we'll never get over. We will never understand your stupid pop culture references and your fixation with those movie stars whose names we've never heard of, and frankly, we don't think we're missing out on much.

And what the fuck are you wearing?! Jesus, you need to get to a mall and buy some normal clothes that actually fit you. Just look at how your pants fit. You're embarrassing the rest of the family! And make yourself useful and do the goddamned laundry!

Oh. Also, we don't think you should drive.

Love,
My Generation