Pu Pu Platter Wants To Hang Out

Hey, wassup guys. How's it going. Just a short note to let you all know that I'm free to hang out anytime.

My schedule's been busy the last few weeks (craziness!) but more recently, I've had a little more time to hang back and just chill out. So if any of you guys would like to just hang out and shoot the shit sometime, that would be great.

Seriously. If I slighted any of you guys before by being too busy, I totally didn't mean to; you know I always want to hang out, just sometimes the ol' sked gets a little bit filled.

And you all know me– egg rolls, bacon-wrapped pineapple, chicken wings, beef teriyaki. Friggin' crab RANGOON on skewers, you know? I got a lot going on. You understand, right? Cool.

So if any of you guys have a free minute, I'm totally down with whatever. Get some Q-time with "3P," knowhutI'msayin? Ha ha. Just hang out, play some catch-up, whatever.

Also, the fact that I've got multiple dipping sauces- soy sauce, duck sauce, hoisin sauce, you know the drill- plus I've got that little sterno flame going, so that might help explain why I've been so swamped. But still no excuse, I know, for not having touched base with you guys sooner. I'm just trying to get you guys to see my side of the whole thing.

No? That's cool. I know you guys get busy, too. So it's tough sometimes syncing up our schedules to match up perfect so that we all hang out. So, just letting you know that I'm free, so whenever some time opens up for you guys, I'll be around.

You can text me, too, now. My new phone accepts texts.

Sometimes Lobsterfest Just Wants You To Lobsterfest

Red Lobster's juggernaut Lobsterfest® chugs on like a bloated, hairless freight train of meat, and if you haven't caught the action yet, there's still plenty of ways to enjoy the amazing lobster-filled delicacies we're offering this week! Try these latest ways (with some help from Andrew Gall):

• We hold a special “dinner and a show event” titled “My Dinner with Lobster.” Each table enjoys the pleasure of a lobster conveying all of his or her problems through a series of clicks. The lobster winds up becoming so comfortable in a diner’s company he or she begins to over-share, bringing up that one time in the park. Afterwards, everyone enjoys the therapeutic feeling that hey, we’ve all got problems! And that’s just another fantastic way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

• A 30-megaton bomb filled with deadly radiation, cornbread and some lobster meat is dropped in the middle of a major metropolitan area near you. Survivors of the blast are given the grave responsibility of rebuilding their civilization with whatever has withstood the bombing but have the luxury of eating nothing but delicious, buttery lobster and cornbread! Okay, that seems like another way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!

• A man, a plan, a canal, Lobsterfest®!

• We hire Grammy-winning recording artist Nelly to accompany you and your family to the restaurant, where he orders "Lobsterr" for all of you, even though your mother clearly and emphatically stated she just wanted a salad. Now, doesn't that sound like a terrific, delicious way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster?

• We shout the praises of Lobsterfest from the rooftops in the form of our very own spokesperson, Mr. Lobster Shingles! Mr. Lobster Shingles (hereafter referred to as MLS—catchy!) storms the lobster-imbibing scene nightly, singing and generally tap dancing about the restaurant. When it looks like a patron is done with his or her plate of succulent lobster, that’s when MLS takes charge, calling attention to said patron with a dance and shimmy best described as “inspiring.” Each time, the MLS spectacle ends with a chant, making the patron feel so bad, he or she will finish the lobster without another word. Oh, and MLS happens to have authentic shingles strapped to his shoulders. Just another way to enjoy delicious lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!