It's Racist Appliances Time!

 

I'm About To Write An Angry Letter...

...to Adobe Photoshop to ask why my skills haven't improved in five years.

If You're Seated On The Right Side of The Cabin, You'll Be Able To See Racist Appliances

Aww, Why You Wanna Racist Appliances?

Viva La Revolucioracist Appliances!

Dut Dut Dut Dut Racist Appliances!

Ooga Booga Racist Appliances!

Racist Furnace?

I got some junk mail from PSE&G the other day, and this guy was in the envelope:


To you faithful EADJ readers(ha!), you might recognize this sassy furnace from "Racist Appliances," one of our regular features.


We're still undecided whether we want to convert this into a new segment, "Relaxed Racist Furnace," but we'll let you know if it pans out.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Make A Candy Cane Reindeer

Making reindeers out of candy canes is a simple craft for kids to do on their own, in groups or as a class around the holidays. The reindeer can be used as Christmas tree ornaments, an extra treat on top of a gift or even as a little homemade gift. Here's how to make your own:

1) Cut a brown pipe cleaner in half.

2) Lay the 2 halves beside each other, so that about a third of the first piece is sticking out from where the second piece starts. This will leave about a third of the second pipe cleaner sticking out on the other side.

3) Place the top of the curve of a wrapped candy cane in the middle of the pipe cleaners and bend them up around the top of the candy cane and twist to secure.

4) Bend the pipe cleaners to make antlers for the reindeer. Each of the 2 antlers should have a longer piece and a shorter piece which lets you bend, twist and create 2 unique antlers.

5) Glue googly eyes on the curved part of the reindeer below the antlers, but with room to attach a nose on the end of the candy cane. Using tacky glue or hot glue is the easiest way to quickly secure the eyes.

6) Attach a pompom onto the end of the candy cane as the nose for your candy cane reindeer.

7) Tie the ribbon in a bow half-way down the straight side of the candy cane. You can attach jingle bells to the center of the bow when you tie it or to the ends of each side of the ribbon for extra decoration.

And speaking of canes, one time I was driving this blind guy in my town car, and he claimed he could tell I was Filipino just by "my smell." What a racist fuckhead.

Don't Tell Me It's Time For Another Racist Appliances. It Is? Shit.

That's So Racist! Appliances