MSN Screen names are stupid

Case closed, take him away.

No, but seriously. Why is everybody except me such a dipshit? If you take MSN screen names as an indication of mental fitness, most of the world is still shitting themselves on a regular oppurtunity.
AND THAT REMINDS ME
I was born before Ogg, Cazzoid AND Joe. Do you know what means? I was able to:

Breathe by myself
Pass my own fecal matter
Circulate blood
Eat
Look at things
Feel the touch of a woman (or in Cassoid's case, man)

ages before the rest of you. So basically, I'm better in every conceivable way. So, uh, fuck you. *raises middle finger*. Oh yeah, I was able to do that before you too. Because I HAD FINGERS FIRST. Shit, man, there's a lot of stuff I could do before you fuckwits. I HAD A PENIS BEFORE JOE. Take that, you horny russian-screwing rugby sex-toad. Ha HA.

Um.

Oh yeah, MSN screen names. THEY ARE RETARDED. Looking down my MSN list (filled mostly with people that I a: Don't know and b: Don't like), I count 14 screen names ( I know, popular, eh). Of those 14:

6 have emoticons or odd bits of punctuation in there for no reason
3 have song lyrics
6 have inane philosophical musings
1 has a lame countdown about someone's lent
6 actually include someone's name
2 have long lines of pointless characters
1 has a description of exactly what that person is doing. Do I care that you are showering? No. Just go offline.
1 has a desription of someone's love life

Right. And this was a good day. Most of the morons are off kicking themselves in the head or repeatedly headbutting walls. And possibly filming it. For fun.

Here are my rules for an MSN Screen name:
1: Never. Ever. Tell us about your love life. I don't care. We don't care. Nobody cares. In fact...

*Stops random man on the street*
Me: Do you care about this girl's love life, and the fact that she loves J?
Man: Hell no!

Pretty damn conclusive.

2: Song lyrics are retarded. They were not designed to be read. If they were, the singers (I'm not calling them 'artists'. 'Artists' is what you call someone who produces Art. Van Gough was an artist. McFly are not. In fact, the only connection between them involves razor blades and ears. Van Gough cut off his ear with a razor blade. After listening to McShit for 10 minutes, I do the same to both ears, then beat the ugly blonde one with the lisp (SERIOUSLY... WHAT SORT OF ROCK STAR HAS A LISP? I'LL TELL YOU. A DIPSHITTED ONE. Woah, I just realised that I have gone into some brackets inside brackets) to death with a piece of jagged metal) would sell their songs in wee little hymn books with titles like 'The Wee Lyrics to Life For Rent', by Dido.
BUT THEY DON'T. And do you know why? Yes, correct, because lyrics are meant to be SUNG AND NOT READ. Lyrics sound retarded by themselves. Here's the last verse of one of the most rockin' songs ever:

Where do we go
Where do we go now
Where do we go

It doesn't sound rockin. It sounds like an old man and his dog getting lost in an airplane toilet. Very. Very. Very. Lame. Song lyrics are fuckin' moronic. PERIOD. Hahaha, 'period'. And they become about 1000 times more fuckwitted if they are put between (8)s. Oh yeah, it makes little musical notes. Big deal, you're still a moron.

3: Here is a simple equation.

EMOTICONS = RETARDED

Seriously. Who the hell types :) or :D into screen names? Its just SO LAME. Whats worse is when people type their names like this:
*^(F)t(F(L) Moron (*)(L)(F)t:D
Ooh, well done. You can type smileys. Well that makes you an interesting person who I am interested in talking to. Damn, that's irony. I should be elected king of the world.

4: I don't care what you're doing. I don't care about your lent choices. I don't care about your philosophical musics. A journey of 10000 miles begins with one step, you say? HMM. Well I shall certainly alter my lifestyle based on that bit of DAZZLING insight. Grr. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care I don't care.
nb: I just typed all those I don't cares by hand. No copy and paste for me. That's how little I care.

Ok, screw this. I'm off to Oggs, for fun, dancing, and a huge motherfuckin' game of squares. I just learnt how to play a Russian Doubler, and I'm actually itching to get him with it.

Kill zombies with annoying smileys LOL OMG LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!