Vive La France!

Fuckin' Frogs.
Anyway. Today I had my Mock AS French Oral, about Luc Besson. Did you know that Luc Besson originally wanted to work with dolphins when he was younger, but a diving accident forced him to reconsider his plans? Well, I knew that, and I can also say it in French. Uh, Luc Besson, uh... Still.
I think I have cracked the secret of French orals. It very very simple:

a: Always ALWAYS procrasinate, but do so in a French accent. Just saying 'err', but in a deep french accident, sounds incredibly smart and yet also wastes time. Saying 'non, je veux dire' then repeating what you just said is a good thing too. And always ALWAYS have a little pause between sentences.
b: Gesticulate. It makes it look like you always know what you are doing and impresses the teacher. For example, in today's performance, I made a gun shape with my fingers and fired at my knee on two different occasions. So, basically, that's all you need to know. Of course, it wouldn't do to just sit there and say 'err' in a french accent for 10 minutes. Then you'd look like a FUCKING RETARD.

So, overall result: 50 out of 60 Well, that's pretty good, you know. Wipes the floor with the rest of you semi-literate, semi-continent jackasses with your C in Ethics. Seriously, what the hell is Ethics? I bet the Ethics exam goes like this:

Question 1: Which one of these should you not do?
a: Save injured kittens from drowning
b: Give money to charity
c: Help old women cross the road
d: Run into a field that you own and pick non-endangered wildflowers
e: Brutally kidnap, rape, murder, rape again, then mutilate a young hitchiker called Fred
f: Hand-rear a lamb

End of test

Seriously, Ethics is the most retarded thing ever.
Fuckit, I can't be bothered, I'll blog about the french exchange later on.

Zombie killer: Biro