Why don't I have a fan club yet?

No, seriously, why don't I? I mean, it seems that every man and his dog has a fan club now. I mean, here's a list of the cunts and whores who have fan clubs:

Oh, holy shit: www.margosmith.com
Um... who the hell releases a song called 'my give a damn's busted" ? Here's your answer: www.jodeemessina.com/home
I actually just cracked up laughing when I saw this poster: www.asleepatthewheel.com/
Who The Fuck? www.branscomberichmond.com
FITNESS ON A STICK. Well, she looks familiar. Oh yeah, I think I once saw a menaloma with similar hair colour: http://tinoco.bizland.com/tamra
Hahahhaha.... www.counterfit.com/
THIS ONE HAS MUSIC. And, it seems, an innocent old man: www.patboone.com
You might not be able to tell, but the reason that this fella only has one name is that he's actually a cardboard cutout: www.cerritoonline.com/
Never in my life have I wanted a pack of enraged killer monkeys. Or a bowling ball: www.rushlowband.com
*Grins*... insert caption here... www.sherrisjubilee.com

OK ENOUGH. I could actually quite easily keep searching through the SHIT fan clubs out there... but I won't. Onto the serious aspect of tonight's blog: I don't have a fan club! Well, to alter this situation, I have now started the following organisation:

The Phippsy Rules Organisation (PRO, as in professional, or, uh, prolapsed rectum)
If you want to be a member of PRO, simply send me a cheque for $4.99... every day. My adress can be found on DoILookLikeAFuckingIdiotToYou.co.uk (man, I hope that this bit of url html works... if it doesnt I shall get VERY ANGRY... hahha... bold.)
In return for your $6.99 per day, you will receive:


So don't delay! Sign up for PRO today! At only $7.99 an hour, you can't afford NOT to sign up! Actually, if you do sign up, you can have some html code to post the ChainsawZombie blog on your site so that more people can join PRO and I CAN EVENTUALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD like the sexy guy I am.
And you know, it will happen.

www.martyparty.com/html/
Hahahhahaha. I know its mean, but it's funny. Like tripping over death people or selling a midget a cape.

Honourary Zombie killer: Marty Stuart, you sexy mulleted beast.