Many Questions

1) What's a vaginal mesh?
2) What's a mesh sling device?
3) Why would I need a mesh sling device?
4) Why would a mesh sling device cause me to suffer?
5) Are those a dude's hands?
6) Why is that dude gripping his belly?
7) Does a vaginal mesh sling device extend all the way to a male's belly?
8) If one's mesh sling device did cause suffering, wouldn't most people be too embarrassed to sue?
9) On top of the embarrassment, how embarrassing would it be to try to qualify for compensation and get denied?
10) Wouldn't going through life without a mesh sling device be better than having one fail on you and then get denied compensation from some shady-ass online company?
11)

Ask Dr. Fish

Dear Dr. Fish,

Sometimes when I am doing yoga (especially coming out of the plow pose), my body suddenly passes air out of my vagina making a fart-like sound. It’s embarrassing when in a room full of other people! I tried keeping my pelvic muscles tight (because this has happened before, though luckily it was in my living room) when lowering my legs down in an attempt to stop this from happening, but no luck. Do you have any suggestions, is something wrong with my insides, and does this happen to other people?

Thank you for your help!
Sue Pine in Scoville

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Dear Sue,

Uh, I'm not sure how to answer this question. First of all, I am a fish, so that means I know nothing about yoga. And secondly, this question isn't exactly medical related, which is good, because I'm not really a licensed physician, so I wouldn't have been able to answer any question of that nature, either.

Hope this helped!
Dr. Fish

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Dear Dr. Fish,

I suffer from recurring vaginal yeast infections. My doctor gave me an oral antiyeast medicine for it and a cream to apply. In addition, he gave me something to stop the itching. It seemed worse after the treatment, so the doctor gave me five more days of the oral medicine. What would you suggest if it comes back again? Could it be something I am eating or taking?

Thanks in advance,
N.F. in Scoville

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Dear N.F. in Scoville,

I would definitely bring it up with your current doctor, mainly because I am not a real doctor. I am actually just a fish in a doctor's outfit. And by the way, if I had a vagina and it itched that much, I would follow those prescriptions to a motherfucking T.

Cheers,
Dr. Fish

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Yo, Dr. Fish,

Did you know "vagina" is a Latin word meaning "a sheath or scabbard?" A scabbard into which one might slide and sheath a sword, wink wink. But the sword need not be a penis; our vaginas were sheaths of power and worth celebrating! Here's to vagina power!

Margaret Cho (not the comedienne) in Scoville

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Dear Margaret,

What the fuck is going on here, people?! Why are all these questions about vaginas?! And that last one wasn't even a question. Is this some juvenile crack at how vaginas smell like fish or something, because I do NOT appreciate it. I am here to answer legitimate questions about medical problems, although I am not a medical doctor and am in fact just a humble fish. Also, what the sam shit is up with all of you coming from Scoville? Where is that?

Jesus Christ.
Dr. Fish

Bathroom Maniac

Spotted in the Barnes and Noble (yes, they're still around) in Elizabeth, NJ, someone snuck some unpaid Legos into a bathroom stall and went to town:



Whee!





Wow, it's been a long time, Pewter Bear. And you've arrived just in time to be the voice of reason...no, wait. Scratch that. Not the voice of reason- the voice of bitchy-ass contrary pussy shit. Christ, did anybody ASK your opinion? Because we sure the fuck didn't. There aren't enough fucking fists in the world that could pound your miserable face enough. Do you understand how much we hate you yet?


Oh, you haven't SEEN hostile yet, bitch. Stay right here, let me get my gun...