I'd like to introduce you to my lovely co-host, whose name I can't remember since I had sex with her and no longer CARE.

Once again, I get out my bloggin' boots, saddle up the old bloggin' horse and ride off into the bloggin' sunset...

AND return, to present to you lovely people a brand new product!

Yes, its the super duper, all in one, never-before-seen magic combi delux level of caring!

MINUS CARING!

*Studio audeince applauds madly*

Basically, before there were two types of caring:

Caring: You are interested in it, or at the very least you would feel put out if it just disappeared. ie. Me with, uh, um... Zombie Films.

Not caring: No interest whatsoever, but on the other hand, no particular hatred. Me with lettuce.

BUT NOW there is a new level of caring! MINUS CARING! And if you've already heard this before, I minus care, so, uh, fuck you ( I LOVE SAYING THAT)



Minus caring is devoted to the few things in life that you care so LITTLE about its actually offensive to you that other people are interested in it; you care so little about these things that its physically painful to hear them discussed after a few minutes.



Here are a list of things I minus care about:



Co-ordinate geometry

What's happening backstage at McFly's concert

Other people's cold sores

Specific Heat capacities

Ion Equations

The fact that you're texting your girlfriend in class

Electrolysis

People complaining about not getting concert tickets

The colours of precipitates

Actually, pretty much the entire Chemistry syllabus altogether. I mean, what fuckwit thought up Chemistry? It actually is the dullest thing known to man. I can just imagine him - actually her. Only a woman could think up something so totally pointlessly complicated/confusing. So we have our woman with long white bears. I know that was a typo, but the idea of a woman riding a long white bear, sitting on the back of another long white bear was amusing to me. She's riding along, and BAM. She gets hit by a thought.



"I KNOW! Although nobody cares, we should start catelogueing the entire planet! Yeah! And then we can, like, make it all so convoluted, complicated and pointless that nobody will ever be able to figure it out. We can have tiny things that nobody can see and then make us learn how they react in EVERY POSSIBLE SITUATION.



I DONT CARE. I NEGATIVE CARE ABOUT CHEMISTRY. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M GONNA BE A CHEMIST? NO. SO STOP TEACHING ME ION EQUATIONS. I AM WASTING MY LIFE.

SAME GOES FOR THE FOLLOWING SUBJECTS:

CORE MATHS

DECISON MATHS

PHYSICS



Wew, good to get that off me (beautifully muscled) chest.



Run down the zombies on a moped