But the fact of the matter is, I have been annoyed. And when I am annoyed I cannot blog. In fact, when I'm annoyed I can't do much except wander around, babbling curse words and punching things. Well, things that can't fight back. Like walls. I actually might have anger management problems. Or, on the other hand, to put it the other way, I... don't.
Yeah.
So I got TWO DETENTIONS IN TWO DAYS! Wicked, wicked beans. I mean, that's more than the Gillster, this half term. Although, to tell the truth, Gilly is still beating me overall on the detention count. At the last tally, he'd managed to rack up a fucking incredible 36 hours and 40 minutes of detention time. I mean, shite. Even Jack Bauer (of 24 fame) didn't manage that much, and he spends his days like, shooting terrorists (AND DOGS), saving the world from moles/ backstabbing ex-comrades/ hackers/ clowns/ terrorists/ Muslims who also happen to be backing the president/ running CTU/ his old best friend/ his wife's killer/ dead/ holding his daughter hostage/ etc. Yeah. Still, Oli Gill: DUDE.
So yeah. Lets have a backwards countdown of detentions, as I think everyone will agree with me when I say the first one is much more amusing. So, yeah.
Detention 2: PHYSICS
It's not my sodding fault that Mr Clarke can't keep order in his lessons. Note to Clarke: Everyone hates you, you wrinkly faced, stuttering, boatie-shaped, moped riding, physics teaching gimp. Note to everyone: Clarke lost $500,000 on the stock market. But it was OPM (other people's money). So that's ok then. Moron.
Anyway... TALKING? What sort of bullshit detention reason is that? It's not as if he was doing anything interesting. And I sure as hell don't want to listen to some git answer a question about something uninteresting. I mean, I wasn't even saying anything. Well, actually I was. I was telling Ogg to ask Clarkey if the moon could concievably be a continental crust that had somehow floated into space. I don't know. Why were we doing Geography in Physics, anyway? That's the reason I dropped Geography in the first place: I DON'T WANT TO DO IT. Grr.
Yeah, so Clarke used his deadliest weapon against me. No, he didn't make me sit at the front of the class, nearest to him. That would be punishment enough. No. He WROTE MY NAME ON THE BOARD. Shit, the word 'Phipps' sitting up there like some foul beacon of my crime was enough to make me fume and call Mr C nasty names for the rest of the lesson, before subtely diving under the desk to eat Hot Cross Buns. That is my method for eating in class: Hide under the desk. Mr Clarke is the ONLY one who is daffy enough to fall for this trick. So, yeah.
And you know what was the worst bit? I thought he'd forgotten. I walked out of the classroom at the end of the lesson, clicking my heels. It was parents evening. HE TOLD MY MUM. What a complete gimp. But, on the other hand, he also told her that I'd make a good Physicist and she told him point blank that no way in a 1000,000 years would I even consider doing Physics A level. So yeah, screw you Hezza.
*Note: This is off topic, but amusing. Apparently Worrallo asked my mother why I fell asleep in so many of his lessons. Hahhahahahahhaha. He's noticed me dozing off, and yet he waits until parents evening to say anything. And I'm still the best in the class AND MAYBE EVEN THE YEAR. Apparently his face lit up and he had a mini orgasm when he learnt I was doing History A level. Bless him and his little glasses!*
*Note: Also off topic. Apparently, I'm the only one in my maths set who isn't taking maths to A level. Does anyone know why this is? Yes, you're right. Because I'm not a FUCKING MORON. Have a nice day.*
Detention 1: French.
This one wasn't even my fault! A certain gimp (ahem, OLIVER GALE GRANT or, as Mr Orr calls you, George) happened to scrawl a message on my exam paper. I also happened to add a note underneath his sentiment. Then I happened to forget about these scrawlings, and hand the paper in. Ah, screw it, see for yourselves:
Hahha. The big letters were me, the pencil was him, and the small writing saying 'apparently' were me also. The ring around it and the 'unacceptable' were the french teacher. Grr. So we both got detentions.
I spent the entire detention cracking my knuckles! I think I've caused myself serious injury! HURRAY! No, seriously, I was doing an ergo (topless, ooooeeee, hold onto your skirts, girls. Actually, don't.) and my middle finger cramped up and felt like it was no longer connected to my hand. Odd. Hmm.
*Cracks knuckles pensively*
Oh yeah, and Joe Bibby has a giant hickey. Hahahahhaha.
A ho-ho.
Yeah.
(How many times have I said 'yeah' in this essay? I don't know. Or care, really.)
Nuts to this!
Kill zombies with: Pencils. Lots of pencils.
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