My man. He has the ability to play women. Even though they are playing him. Or they are trying to. Its all so confusing. It's like a particulary fun episode of Coronation Street or, as I like to call it, RIPPING OUT MY EYELIDS WITH AN HIV ENCRUSTED RUSTY NAIL COVERED IN VINEGAR.
Anyway. The story so far: Cassie-Lou, in a bid of feminine wiles, has (cunningly) decided to FOOL Oliver into thinking that she love him. Oh, you cunning, cunning bag of organs. Here's HILARIOUS extracts from the thingumybob:
Cassie-Lou: i really really like you, and thats why ive been acting so weird
Oli: honeyyyyyyyyyyyyy... watttttttttttttttttttttt
Cassie-Lou: i just cdnt keep it to myself any more
What does Oli do? I mean, does he accept? Does he let her down gently? No. He does what any decent man would do.
Oli: u do no im gay ... rite? ...
Oli: not...jus wimpy im gay cos i cnt get girls gay
Cassie-Lou: theres no chance then? none at all?
Oli: [no] but if i think of crossin ova the ol line ill tell yeee
Oli: i cnt promise cos if im drunk at a party and cnt think straight it is unlikely
I mean... DUDE. Not only does he make up a fake sexuality, he also makes up reasons why he won't be sticking to this sexuality, and ALSO keeps the Cassie-Door open in case he ever gets really drunk/desperate one lonely night. Man. But there's more... read Oliver's detailed, meticulous description into how one turns gay...
Oli: u no wat happened with melissa ryt... hurt, heartbreak all that bollock...
Oli: it was then tht i realised that i nolonger had a fondness for women... it was an underdog feeling that i had had for
a long time but just ignored it
Wait for it... this is the killer...
Oli: with little things trickin me, such as starin at guys asses+crotches on trasins/buses... i jkingly 1/2 became gay... and it fit with everything id ever felt b4... im prob gna stay lyk this for a fair feww yrs yet
Cassie-Lou: does anyone else know about your new gayness
Oli: ffs EVERYONE
Cassie-Lou, inbred moron: no, no one tells me anything
Was she joking? Does she know that he's taking more piss than a dialysis machine? I don't know. But wait... It doesn't stop here. The story so far: Oli, knowing that Cassie-Lou was taking the piss... takes his EVIL REVENGE. Manly-styleee.
Oli: OI BITCH... TELL ME IF ITS FUCKING TRUE OR NOT
Blah blah blah... Cassie-Loud talks a bit inbetween (including some VERY interesting stuff, eh, dear?)... here's Olis entire rant, in its full made up skill:
Y THE FUK WOULD YOU DO THAT?! U NO HOW FUCKING SHITTY I FELT! SCUMMIER THAN WITH MELISSA!!!! IT HAPPENS QUITE A BIT! IT WAS A HELL OF A SHOCK! OUT OF THE BLUE, BUT Y THE FUK U SAY SUMTHIN LYK THT DO U THINK B4 U ACT?!
IF U DID THEN Y DNT U PUSH IT
This went on for about 15 minutes. Ah man, you are so funny. And drunk. Next time do Steve. *Shudders at mental thought*
Ok, Kris. Kris is easily confused. A different coloured font will probably do it for her...
Nuts to this. My hand hurts.
Movie Zombie killin' weapons: Pistol/Bullwhip
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