"If you put your friend into an unlicensed minicab, you could be helping a racist."

... Or you could not.

I mean, am I the only one who finds those 'unlicensed minicab rapist' adverts HILARIOUS? If I am, then the lot of you are fucktards. They're hilarious.



You have your (ethnically balanced) group of women dancing and laughing. You have them enjoying themselves. You have them DRINKING.

Now, anybody who has EVER seen ANY slasher movies ('specially Scream) knows that there are several things that get you killed by the killer.



Oh wait, one thing. News up on the radio today. Harold Shipman's kill count has now numbered about 250. Aww. That's my Harry!



Where was I? Yes, things that get you killed in Slasher movies:

1: Sex (well, it was a nightclub. There had to be SOME sexual antics)

2: Drugs (they might have had a spliff or something. You never know)

3: BOOZE (THEY WERE DRINKING LIKE FUCKING FISH)



So basically, sex, drugs, and alcohol. ARE YOU WOMEN RETARDED OR SOMETHING? Thats like, uh, those kids in Cabin Fever. YOU WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF AMERICA... JUST KEEP WALKING, DIPSHITS.

*By the way* Dipshit is now my favourite swear word, just pipping cunt to the top place. Huzzah.

And my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE bit of this advert is when the rapist turns up at the end. This is why he's so evil:



1: He's tall and pale (shifty looking)

2: He's wearing a scarf. Eeeeeevil.

3: He has a trench-coat on.

4: He's frowing, and thus evil.

5: He's white.

6: He has a little stubble on his chin.



All these things combine to make the eeeeeeevilest man known to mankind. Or, not. You know what would have been hilarious?

If he had a t-shirt saying "I'M A RAPIST, FUCKWIT."



or he was wearing a Hannibal Lector style mask and a ripped straightjacket covered in red stains?

or he's, like, a clown, blood dripping from his fanged mouth.

or he's wearing a mask made of HUMAN SKIN, stained overalls, he's holding a rusty BUZZING chainsaw above his head and BELLOWING madly.

or he's Harold Shipman, back from the dead, delicately stroking a hypodermic needle and licking his lips.



And then, BAM, it goes into mute. Except now we have FAINT SCREAMS in the background, as ugly woman (who looks a bit like a fish) gets screwed. Totally.



And then they end up with some totally unimpressive statistic. Oooh, 9 women a month? Thats actually, so crap. I am so unimpressed, babe. There are 31 days a month, yeah? That works out as 3.444 women a day. What the fuck does 0.4444 of a woman look like?



So in conclusion, three women and a cripple are raped by EVIL minicab drivers every DAY. I mean. For fucks sake. More people are raped every day by... pigeons. Washing machines. Donkeys. Do we get adverts telling us to watch out for evil donkeys? I mean, we'd have our very shifty looking donkey, and our woman and... yeah screw it.



Nuts to THIS.



Zombie... zombie... zombie... zombie.... ZOMBIE NATION! Killed by shifty looking minicab drivers.