As what? A NAZI stooge like you?

Can I just say at this point...

Prince Harry = TOTAL LEGEND.



(for those who don't know... http://www.blink.org.uk/p...y=5540&grp=21&cat=94 ... he looks a bit like Jack the ginger boatie, actually...)



I mean, it takes some doing to piss off pretty much the entire world (except me).

But being a possible future King of England and turning up to a fancy dress party dressed up like a Nazi...

That's gonna take some beating.

No number of racist, sexist, baby-eating, peadophilic disgusting stupid ugly retarded wanker jokes are gonna top that. I'm gonna need to blow up a nursery or kill some nuns. Hey, that sounds fun. Pass me my gun, Tito.

*Realises that he neither has a gun, nor a small talking donkey called Tito to pass it*

Bugger.

Anyway, this is me in the morning:



Mother: Darling, here's a lovely cup of hot tea.

Me: Mumble.

Mother: Get up, darling.

Me: Mumble mumble fuckoff mumble mumble.

Radio: Prince Harry has been blasted for turning up to a fancy dress party as a Nazi soldier.

Me *sitting bolt upright* : YOU GOD!



That's how it happened. Ok, the character of my mother has been made nicer to enhance the dramatic sensibilities of the piece. I feel that it was a nice trade-off.



But, in conclusion. I am now monarchist, just so long as this Dude becomes king. Imagine him turning up to his Coronation. What should he be dressed as?

Well, I asked our studio audience:



The Littlest Terrorist: A jew. He'll need a face mask. With a big nose, and (Me: this went on for about 5 lines of the most stereotypical things that our little oil-tycoon could think of. Bless)



Roxy: A teddy bear, because then he will be accused of being a racist too.

(Me: Um...)



Mike: On a serious note: Whatever he goes as, it won't be right. OMG the Prince was wearing a suit to his Coronation today - this is no way for a Prince to act!



Ben: Saddam Hussein… something along those lines. Because he went as a nazi… duh.



Abi: HE WILL GO TO HIS CORONATION AS MARGARET THATCHER



Lucia aka the titless wonder (who I secretly love): A bag of nuts just so he can be crowned King Nutbag. This would make him my husband. So I'd be rich. Also, nutbags are amazing.

(Me: I have had to update this about four times, JUST to sort out the typos in Lucia's comment. This is nothing. She once sent me a text message that was just long one line of letters. It took a team of top British cyptologists about 6 hours to figure it out)



Cassie (at her request, I must say at this juncture that I also love her. Apparently. Don't ask me. Talk to her) : A tramp, because it would suit his incredibly rugged looks. Plus, it would be interesting to see him living in a cardboard box, waving a bottle of cheap whiskey around. His crown could be a paper bag!



Me: Being a prince, he should go as Prince. Aha, but not as in the royal sense, oh no. The pop star. Aha, but not as in the actual guy, oh no. The symbol. He should go as a huge foam Prince Symbol. With bobbly eyes. And a hooty nose.



Bertie: Cinderella. Because he's a prince. And prince sounds like Cinderella.



Mario: A big naked man. I like naked men.

(Me: Note: This may not be what Marios actually said, but he spent too long deciding.)



Nail those zombies... with a nail...gun. Mmm, thumpy.