Wayhey, mocks are over!
Time to kick back and relax... just as much as I was doing before.
Actually, I HONESTLY think that I'll have more work to do after we go back to school.
Anyway. Rumour had it that I had made a revision timetable. Unfortunately, they were true. On Excel *winks*. I'm cool, aren't I? Anyway, having realised that I didn't really need to do any revision at all, I sort of ignored it. But anyway, exams are over. Here's the conversation between me and my timetable:
TT: You'll never do it! You wouldn't DARE.
Me: Oh wouldn't I?
TT: You don't have the GUTS!
Me: Oh don't I?
*I turn on the shredder*
TT: You can't do this! You need me!
Me: NOT any more.
*Inserts the timetable into the shredder*
TT: AIIII! SAVE ME! I'LL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! DRUGS... WOMEN.... MEN?
Me: Ok.
*Presses reverse and pulls timetable out of shedder. The bottom is all ripped up.*
TT: Oh, thank god.
*Turns timetable upside down and re-inserts into shredder.*
TT: NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Me: Read yourself. My timetable schedules a shreddin' at 10 o clock. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Turns shredder on"
TT: I'll be back! ARGH!
Me: Yeah, sure.
*Thinks of witty comeback.*
Me: Rest in... PIECES!
*Laughs insanely and strokes a dog as the timetable meets its maker. Wait, as I'm its maker, it would have met me. Ok, as the timetable gets ripped into itty bitty pieces. Gimp.*
Yeah, that actually happened. Except for the timetable talking bit. Timetables can't talk. And even if they could... would they choose to? I don't think so.
Also, word on the street is that everyone did shit at Physics. Actually, that was told to me by (the epic) Mr Clarke as he jogged by. He also told me that he 'saw it coming'. Saw it coming? Your the sodding Physics teacher, you big muffin!
I feel that I need to take a second out to just describe Mr C:
He's a Physics teacher. Not a very good one. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him pull off ANYTHING successfully. This is not a joke. He has like a 0% track record of doing stuff in Physics lessons. He's also a boatie. He was coaching us, but we took the piss so much that eventually he gave up and went back down to the J14s. Good, screw 'im. We get the cool New Zealand soldier teaching us instead.
Anyway, here are Clarkey's greatest hits, both on and off the water:
Teaching us radioactivity, telling us how radiation causes cancer while pointing the radiation gun thing directly at the front row of the class.
Turning on a Physics motor thing, then jumping as it breaks itself apart.
Taking an equation that most of us were able to do in three lines, then performing it in about 15 steps, covering two full boards, getting the wrong answer, then informing us that its 'the university method.'
Losing $500,000 in a failed business venture. "But its ok, it was OPP... I mean OPM," he says, displaying his amazing grasp of economic jargon. At least it wasn't as bad as we thought; word was on the street that he'd lost $6,000,000 on the stock market.
Managing to turn on a motorboat, crashing it into the launch and nearly flattening his fiance... while not being in the boat at all.
Getting me and the Bibbster detentions for writing his name on the board. I mean, its not fair. I didn't even write anything, i just did the shading. Piffle.
Having a mini-nervous breakdown in pretty much every lesson. A few lessons ago, he banned us from making any noise, so everyone started rusting their papers and going through their pencil cases really really loudly.
I'm sure that there are loads more, but I can't be bothered to go through them.
Yeah, but we love him really. He's adorable in his useless way. HENRY!
Also in the news: Temporary boats have been selected. I'm in the 4th eight. Happy, happy smile. Very contented. Also contented as Fish (lazy tosspot of the century) is also in here, and hes pissed off. Good. Fuck him. First race: Hampton Head, January 29th.
Also in the news: The mug heist has risen to 4. So far, no-one has suspected a thing. Huzzah.
Ah nuts to this; its my day off. I'm going to play Metroid.
Use a cricket bat. Zombie head... FOUR!
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