My New Year's Resolutions:

I shall re-visit these whenever they are broken.



1: Don't swear so much. Fuck, cunt, shit, wanker, bollocks, bastard... I'll miss you all, my friends. But remember; you're still gonna see me after ergos and whenever I stub my toe.

2: Keep up the rowing. Hah, like I would be allowed to give it up. I'm the lynchpin that keeps the entire Hampton boat club together... I wish. Do you think that if I died, anyone would notice?

3: Get a girlfriend, already, you faggot. Rely on that pity.

4: Keep up the blogging. You're doing fine, chum.

5: Watch lots of good movies. No rubbish. In fact, never go to the cinema to see a film that you know will be rubbish, unless you have a specific reason.

6: Be nicer to Ellie. Or at least, have a reason before you punch her in the ribs.

7: Be less nice to Bertie. A few random punches in the ribs would do him the world of good.

8: Write some more. Hahhahahhaha.

9: Be less pervy. Except to Cassie. Be extra pervy to her to make up for it.



How to fool the zombie apocalyse into destroying itself: Trick the Zombies into making a New Year's Resolution of Vegetarianism. Ha ha!