Clarence the boy is dead. Say hello to Clarence the man... who just had SEX.

Thanks a lot, Steve.

You and your comparatively human boyfriend have totally ruined sex ed for me.

IT'S SEX ED. SEX ED.

THE MOST HILARIOUS LESSON IN THE WORLD.

The point of sex ed is to ask humiliating questions to a teacher too embarassed to answer them, and then snigger at the red faces and confused grins.

It's not to bash my head repeatedly against the desk to get IMAGES OF YOU OUT OF MY HEAD.

Arghhhh... *claws out eyes*

Thanks a LOT. What you gonna ruin next? Christmas? Of maybe you have your sights set on getting yourself on television. Yeah, well done.

Although, there were still some amusing parts of the lesson, in particular the sheet that went over the very odd animals. HALF A GALLON? And weird hook/sucker things on genitalia. And evil females covered with the genitalia of their prey. Oh wait, that's Steve again.

SORRY, STEVEN. I SHOULD STOP MOCKING YOU. YOU ARE ACTUALLY VERY NICE. In your extra-terrestrial way.



Anyway, in a smoooooooth link, here are a list of people who I'd love to teach sex ed:



Mr Clarke: Hahahahhahaha. Oh man, the questions I could ask. He'd probably just start stuttering until his jaw fell off and his brain melted out of his head. Huzzah. Actually. Dude. That would rule.



Thomas Carder: The author of the amazing capalert.com, the world's most hilarious christian website. An hour of him saying 'ITS EVIL AND YOU CAN'T DO IT UNTIL YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED, AND THEN JUST THROUGH A SHEET WITH A HOLE IN IT' would be rather amusing.



Mr Scoggins: Huge new zealand boatie coach. He'd just growl at us, then tell us that we were 'shit', and that we were a bunch of 'fucking shits'. He isn't being mad. That's his idea of a motivational speech.



Jesus and Annika: The Spanish/German assistants. Jesus is a dude and Annika is just fun to look at. La di da di da di da. Huzzah, funny people. Plus, they do not speak English good. They no speaky English. They no English.



Arnold Schwartzenegger/Jean Claude Van Damme/Oli Gill: So manly, we'll probably get extra testosterone just from BEING in their presence. Especially the Gillster. He can give a rundown of his techniques.



Me: Come on, just imagine it. It'd rule. Especially with me making up stuff for the poor unfortunates who don't quite understand anything. Etc. Mwaaaahahhaha.



Homer Simpson: He's a cartoon character. Huzzah.



Fun Zombie Killin': Machete