Say, young whippersnapper, how would you like to be a part of the Universal/MCA CORPORATION?

Ok, time for my ultimate TV idea;



CORPORATION MEGA-WAR



For some, big corporations really irritate me. But on the other hand, people who whinge about big corporations being evil also irritate me. I'm only irritated if either side is shown as being the good-guy. If you showed me a bunch of hippies sitting in a tree from the hippies point of view ('we're saving these trees from being cut down by the evil corporations!') I would be cheering for the lumberjacks. Just cut down the fucking tree; screw 'em. On the other hand, if I see a corporate PR man telling us why the trees should be cut down, I pray for a sudden, deadly meteorite shower. So where does that leave me? I don't know. I would be happy if Apple and Pixar were the only big corporations left in the world. Ah, God bless you, Steve Jobs. *kisses iMac*



Anyway, fuck the politics, this is my idea. Again:



CORPORATION MEGA-WAR



Basically, you take two HUGE corporations. I'm thinking McDonalds and Coca-Cola, and you tell them that they have ten years to drive each other out of business. At the end of these ten years, if either is still in business, then both companies get shut down and all the executives get shot.

Sounds pretty sodding dull eh? Well get this: here's your hook. Both corporations are totally above the law when they do this. They are totally allowed to do any of the following:



Lie

Blackmail

Slander

Kidnap

Blow up their rival's factories

Shoot each other's CEOs

Steal

Poison each other's product

Make up lies about each other

Spy on each other

Burn down corporate buildings

Computer virus's (virii? I don't care)

Set terrorists on each other



Basically, everything you could imagine. Now how god-damn good would that be? Very good, I know. I'm a genius, thanks.

Just imagine:

The news: "Today, fifteen Coca-Cola representatives were killed by McDonalds suicide bombers. Ronald McDonald retaliated by sending tanks into the Cola Strip, killing fourty. Amongst the dead were Frankie McPostit, the multi-billionaire Diet Coke tortoise. American peace-keepers have withdrawn from the area, claiming that it was 'too dangerous, even for the American army."

Meanwhile, sales of Coke have plummeted after it was revealed that fifteen tonnes of powdered sarin were dumped into a mixing tank by a McDonalds Spy known only as the Happy Meal Poisoner. People have also stopped eating McDonalds food in fifteen countries, after Coke's assertion that Big Macs actually contain liquid pig shit.

Which they might, we don't know."



That would KICK ARSE. I rule so hard. Years of entertainment.



Zombie Killin' in Oz: Barbequeue